Aug

25

SPOUSE NEEDS HELP

Filed Under Black Lions, Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on SPOUSE NEEDS HELP

by Janet J. Seahorn

soldier-tears-getty

 

 

There it is again – another message from a spouse needing help to cope with the conditions his/her companion faces after returning from combat.

Just reading their stories make me feel like weeping, screaming, and wondering… why our various government systems aren’t doing much in this area. To be sure, some Vet centers are implementing some innovative and helpful programs for spouses and families. Yet, far too many are going unnoticed and unheard. Some spouses don’t know where to go to access services; some simply can’t find anything near them that makes it feasible to get such services; and some want/need groups they can access through the internet.  As one person explained… I am looking for a group that will tell me what they are going through and how they are handling it.  I want some group I can talk to and be open and honest with that I can tell them the things that wives of PTSD vets are afraid to open up about…PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND THAT GROUP I KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH I DON‘T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT…

 

            There is such pain just hanging out in our families and their personal relationships. Pain that few others see. Pain that the spouse and family don’t feel comfortable or safe sharing with anyone other than individuals who have been through similar experiences. Finding appropriate and effective programs need to be a high priority if our veterans and their marriages are to survive in a healthy and positive relationship.

 

After reading an e-mail from a wife of a Vietnam vet with PTSD who is also the mother of a son who just returned from combat with similar difficulties (double whammy), I responded with this note. I hope she won’t mind me sharing with our readers, since she is only one of hundreds who are worried, discouraged, and questioning what can be done to make things better. In almost every such message, the writer speculates if she has done something wrong or not done enough, whatever enough might be in these situations.  Below is my response – I hope it helps.

 

Please know you have done nothing “wrong by your children”… war has done the damage. PTSD is similar to trying to swim upstream through raging rapids and water falls.  It is a moment by moment and daily challenge, but there is hope. The key is to get as much information as possible, set and STICK to appropriate boundaries, and try as hard as you can not to make excuses for your husband’s or son’s behavior.  I did this for a very long time and still, at times, fall into this hole. By making excuses for our loved ones, we do not hold them or ourselves accountable for the behavior. Just like any challenging illness or disability, the individual and family must work twice as hard as those not encumbered by the condition. What I was really saying when I made such excuses is that I didn’t believe that either I or my husband could do better or get better, and that simply was not true or accurate.  We continue to heal, but we still have our bad days/times, which we know won’t totally disappear. The biggest hope is that we are better than we were before Tony got help with the VA center.  By writing the book (Tears of a Warrior), I spent nine years researching the information and thinking about how it related to our situation.  I kept saying to myself, “if only I/we had known this when… we could have done so much better or differently”. 

It is important that both your husband and son seek help with your nearest VA center.  If you aren’t happy with the service there, go somewhere else.  We found we had to do that and finally found a wonderful VA center here in Ft. Collins and Cheyenne.  ### was not so helpful.

As for your son, I understand how you must feel… both my sons are grown and on their own, but there are times I wish I could “kiss their boo boos, and make the hurt go away” like when they were little.  A mother’s heart never is far from those of her children. Just the way it is. Now I tell my sons, “I can not solve their problems, because this is yours to do for yourselves. But I will always be there to listen, support, and love you.”  I try to end by telling them this…”I know you are a wonderful, intelligent, and strong person. And I know you have the determination and courage to solve this situation. I know this with all my heart and I trust you. Keep trying. You can do it.”

The other point that I will end with is to ask yourself, “Do we have more good times than bad? Are we both trying and improving?”  If the answer is YES, we keep going. If the answer was ever NO, things would be drastically different.

I hope this helps.  Please know there is help out there.  Check with your VA center to see if their are any support groups for spouses. For some these groups are a big help… I believe one has to be in the right group – not in a group where everyone just complains and leaves more depressed. 

 

One last note: I was truly surprised when I did some recent internet searches on support for spouse to find there are few available.  One I found is

 

http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/groups.html.

 

If in all your searching nothing viable is available, think about starting a group. Almost every organization and many services began with one person taking action and building something useful for others who share a similar need.

 

Best of luck and blessing.

 

Aug

11

STAYING OUT OF THE SAD SACK

Filed Under Combat PTSD, Family, Healing Waters, Peace, Pets, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on STAYING OUT OF THE SAD SACK

 

by Janet J. Seahorn

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A few weeks ago we had the rare opportunity for my family to get together and spend some quality time floating, fishing, and just chilling out in Wyoming.

 

 

During one of our chats, my brother, a Vietnam Navy vet, started talking about how hard it is to stay out of the “Sad Sack”, especially when his PTSD starts rearing it’s nasty head.

 

 

Although it is not realistic to expect that any of us can totally avoid jumping into this particular “sack”, it is wise to try and do something more inspiring than hanging out in the land of gloom.

 

 

Go for a walk, listen to music, write, or take up pottery or painting… or fishing. Anything that can help take your mind off of the misery.

 

One Vietnam vet I recently heard from talked about some of the projects he has done and continues to do for the children in Vietnam.

 

 

So far he has built one kindergarden in honor of his best friend who was killed in combat forty years ago. He has another one in process, and has helped do the fund raising and building of a library to honor another high school classmate killed during the same conflict. By giving something positive back to the world, he declares, allows him to keep his ghosts in line. Gosh, organizing, fund raising, and constructing these amazing projects is a pretty impressive way to stay out of the Sad Sack.

 

I must admit that some of our sibling conversations made me go into the “Jovial, Laughing Sack” which seemed to annoy the others in the car just a much as if I were in the Sad Sack.

 

Seems like when only one person in the group finds a subject humorous, others give you that disgusting look that says “stuff” the mirth. Dang, now I couldn’t open my Sad Sack and couldn’t stay in my Laughing Sack, which, by the way, made me burst into even more hilarity

 

At any rate, the whole point of this message is that we live in and wear many sacks throughout our days. Some we consciously choose, a few tackle us when we least expect them, throwing our emotions into chaos. The challenge is to get out of the bad stuff as quickly as possible.

 

 

The lesson is to trust our faith and strength, realizing that just as the crappy stuff sometimes engulfs us, the wonderful, comical, and joyful is waiting for us to return to the good stuff. In a recent blog, Ancient Wisdom, we wrote about being strong.

 

So here it is, being strong will not prevent you from somersaulting into the Sad Sack, however, being strong will be the only thing that will get you out into something better.

 

You have the power and strength to reduce the size of your sacks, whichever ones you choose.  Good Luck.

Aug

2

SHELTER DOGS AND PTSD VETS

Filed Under Combat PTSD, Dogs, Life, Love, Pets, PTSD treatment, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, War, Wisdom | Comments Off on SHELTER DOGS AND PTSD VETS

 by Janet J. Seahorn

army-dog-1

       It is such a privilege to write our blogs and then hear back from some of our readers. The blog on “Tears of a Mother” brought many wonderful comments. One such reader sent this message which made me smile. He wrote:

                    
A SHORT STORY. MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 40 YEARS. WE ARE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS AND WHEN I GOT HOME FROM MY LAST HOSP STAY FOR A PANIC ATTACK, I ASKED HER WHY SHE HAS STAYED WITH ME FOR SO LONG. HER EXACT WORDS WERE. “I KNEW YOU WERE A CHANGED PERSON WHEN YOU GOT HOME. HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY SAID I WAS DAMAGED. SHE TOLD THEM THAT THE MAN IS SCARED OF EVERYTHING AROUND HIM. AND THAT SHE LOVED ME”. I DO NOT TRAVEL TOO FAR WITHOUT MY WIFE. I CALL HER MY HANDLER.

            Isn’t that just the sweetest compliment he gave his wife, “my handler”, which, as you can see, he stated with genuine love and gratitude.  His message reminded me of a very endearing commercial for “shelter” dogs we have here in Colorado. It starts out, “Don’t pity a shelter dog — honor him. Shelter dogs aren’t broken, they’ve just experienced a little more of life. In many ancient times they would be considered wise.  They are the ones with tales to tell and stories to write.  They have faced life’s challenges with courage and pride, and survived with honor and dignity”. 

           Sounds like many of our amazing vets. Just like these shelter dogs who have experienced a bit more than their canine siblings, veterans aren’t broken, damaged, or to be pitied. Most have gathered a deeper wisdom regarding life. And, yes, they have tales to tell and stories to write. With courage and pride they continue to live every day of their lives with honor and dignity.  

Shelter dogs and vets. Golly, what a wonderful way to view the  challenges of life…and PTSD.

Jun

30

PTSD Series Discussion #5

Filed Under Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #5

By Janet J. Seahorn

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When is it time to seek outside help?

This is pretty easy to answer: You will know if it is time to seek outside help when the behavior of the serviceperson becomes abnormally un-normal.  When life becomes a teeter-totter of ups and downs that can’t seem to be controlled no matter how hard you try. When your surroundings and relationships seem unstable and unsafe and you aren’t sure why, get help.

When my husband began experiencing PTSD, neither one of us had a clue what was going on at the time. There was no such thing as Post-Traumatic Stress. War was something that a person went to, came home from and tried to move on. It wasn’t discussed. It wasn’t thought about (or so we once thought and wanted to believe).

No one considered how the events of combat could impact an individual for the rest of his life. If you came home somewhat physically whole, that was a gift. You healed physically, and you lived as if all the horror from battle never happened. The past was the past and it should not impact one’s future. What an absurd assumption. 

Now we understand that nothing in our past is ever fully in the past. The good and the difficult follow us wherever we go. We are part of our experiences. With understanding, courage, and information we may gain strength and wisdom to move forward. Getting outside help can guide us in forming the wisdom and understanding needed for healing.

What are some good resources for help with PTSD or TBI?

There are many resources available to our military service men and women. Check with your local Veteran’s Administration Center if you suspect you need support. You may need to be referred to a Veteran Hospital for further testing and diagnosis, especially if you suspect a traumatic brain injury. Every state has several local centers that have been established to help veterans find the appropriate placement and support needed to get the services they may require. (VA Centers are listed in our book)

Don’t stop at NO if you are convinced you have something wrong that necessitates some form of treatment. Sometimes all you need is that one special person who can take your situation seriously enough to get help. Our family personally saw this happen with my brother.  He was extremely wary of anyone associated with the government. As a Vietnam vet, his mistrust of a broken, ineffective system made him reluctant to seek help from a military or veteran organization of any kind. Once he decided to seek services he ran into several brick walls. Yet, he kept trying, until he finally found a former army sergeant who took his situation seriously and made things happen.

It only took one person to make a difference. Don’t’ give up or give in to frustration. Keep going. Help is available, but sometimes you may have to fight for it just like you did in battle.  If you did it then, you can do it now.

In ending, we want to thank you and your loved ones for your service and sacrifice. You have made a difference that few will understand, or perhaps fully appreciate. Nevertheless, please recognize the depth of your courage, strength and warrior spirit. These are the attributes that sustained you through combat, and now they will do so again in moving you towards healing and a better life.

May

25

PTSD Series Discussion #3

Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #3

ptsd-2Question 4:  If I, as a serviceperson, have PTSD, how can I help myself?

First, be honest with yourself.  As stated in the last question, do not ignore the signs that you are suffering from serving in combat.  Do not pretend that things are fine; that the problem lies with everyone around you such as your spouse, children, neighbors, family, or co-workers.  Watch for signs such as increased anger, irritability, depression, and/or isolation from normal family events. Resisting the feelings associated with PTSD only exacerbates the problem. The best thing you can do if you think something is not normal is to visit your Veteran’s Center as soon as possible.  These centers have become much more proficient in serving the military population’s needs than they were during past conflicts.  Physicians and therapists now recognize and understand in better detail the effects of PTSD and how to treat it.  Don’t wait.  Help is available.  The sooner you get assistance, the sooner your life will begin to move forward in a manner that allows you to live more fully.  You deserve to be at peace, to be happy and so does your family.  You and your loved ones have given enough in serving your country.  Now it is time that your country does something for you.  Help is waiting; don’t wait another minute to get it.  Life is too precious to be wasted fighting demons from the past. Today is the only thing you have that will make a difference for tomorrow.  So use today wisely to gain understanding, healing, and perhaps some peace of mind and spirit.

Other suggestions include spending time outdoors. Nature offers us a tremendous healing environment, especially for emotional wounds. We find hiking, fishing, skiing, and simply just being in the wilderness soothes much of our anxieties and internal tensions. Pets are also a therapeutic comfort. A great deal of research has been conducted that has shown the positive impact animals have on a person’s well being. Because our pets love us unconditionally, are non-judgmental, and provide a sense of safety and security, they are one of the very best options for keeping us sane and healthier both physically and emotionally. A few additional suggestions that we have found quite beneficial are meditation, aroma therapy (no kidding J), body massage, and heavy doses of laughter. Humor is a terrific medication since it is almost impossible to be angry and laughing at the same time. It releases endorphins that alleviate body pain, and provides a huge dose of oxygen to the brain and muscles.

Question 5:  What can I, as a family member, do to help someone with PTSD or a TBI?

There can be a major difference between a person suffering from PTSD and someone who has incurred a TBI (traumatic brain injury).  A TBI is a physical injury to the brain, where PTSD is more a reordering of the neuro networks in the brain.  Many times a person with a TBI may also have some form of PTSD, mainly because he/she was in a situation that caused physical and emotional damage to the individual and/or others in the company.  As with all illness and trauma, the more informed you become the better you are at making appropriate decisions in handling the circumstances. Illness and problems must first begin with immediate recognition that something is not quite right. The sooner you recognize the signs of PTSD, the sooner you can begin the healing process.  Once again, it is dangerous to ignore the obvious and pretend things will get better with time. Too often, this does not happen by itself.  Time can make behaviors and tensions more precarious, destroying personal relationships and family cohesion. No one benefits by waiting. Spouses get tired of walking through the “mindfields” of the traumatized serviceperson.  Children suffer because they can’t and don’t’ understand why mommy or daddy are not always the same kind; loving parents they were before war. 

When a family member returns from combat with PTSD, everyone close to him must join together to offer support, hope, and comfort.  In doing so, however, you must set suitable boundaries that will keep the family safe and well-balanced.  If children are involved, they must be at the forefront of your concern.  Their physical and emotional well-being is of utmost important.  Living with a parent who has untreated PTSD can have long-term, negative consequences on a developing child.  Getting immediate treatment for your spouse and yourself will be the best line of defense in moving towards the life you want to live and the family unit you want to be.

May

18

PTSD Series Discussion #2

Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | 1 Comment

ptsd-1Question: 2:  Is PTSD different from Combat Stress?

The answer to this question may depend on which study you might read or which doctor is doing the diagnosis.  Combat Stress has often been referred to as PTSD.  “During the Civil War they called it Irritable Heart.  During World War I and II it was referred to as Soldier’s Heart or Shell Shock and other terms described it as Neurosis, Combat Fatigue, or Combat Exhaustion (pp. 66-67, Tears of a Warrior, 2010).  Every war has coined a term that seemed to describe a warrior who returned from combat with behaviors and reactions that were not a part of his/her life before the battles.  Whatever one might prefer to call the behavior is not important.  What is important is if the behavior interferes with the person’s ability to live a normal, happy life or the behavior negatively impacts family, friends, or work, you should get help immediately. Today, PTSD is the accepted medical term for similar symptoms from all wars.

Question 3:  If my serviceperson has PTSD, will it better?

Our belief is that those suffering from PTSD can and will get better.  Some fortunate few whose trauma is not as intense may be able to heal on their own.  Most, however, who have seen too much, done too much, lost too much, may only move towards healing with the outside support of a trained physician or therapist. For many, like my husband, there has been no such thing as a full cure. Nevertheless, appropriate medication, counseling, and self-meditation have been a tremendous help in getting to that “better” place.  With “better” understanding of what the person is facing and how those closest to him/her can offer appropriate support, the family can become a safer, stronger and more caring unit. Pretending that nothing is happening or that in some miraculous way tomorrow you will awake and all the bad stuff will be gone, is simply not realistic. It doesn’t just go away, no matter how hard you try.  In fact, trying harder often makes the situation worse. The best approach to addressing these ongoing painful ghosts is information, productive action, and the courage to admit something is not quite right.  Obtaining the help and treatment needed to move towards better physical and emotional health is the best step to recovery.

May

13

PTSD Series Discussion #1

Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #1

ptsd-book-soldier-getty-photoSeveral weeks ago we were ask to respond to a set of questions regarding Post-Traumatic Stress and combat vets.  These responses will be used in a short pamphlet/flip book that will be distributed through another organization.  We thought many of our readers might find the questions and our feedback useful.  Today’s blog is the first of our five part series. (Part 1 of 5)

•1.      How do I know if my serviceperson might be suffering from PTSD?  (Symptoms, possibly)

This is a great question with a not so simple answer. Not every person who returns from serving in a war zone ends up with Post-Traumatic Stress. A great deal depends on the amount of time the person spent serving under combat conditions, as well as how many traumatic events occurred during his/her deployment. Most doctors and researchers agree that the more time spent away form home, and the more distressing events experienced during each deployment, the greater the likelihood the person may experience some form of PTSD. If the individual was already predisposed to stressful home or environmental factors before joining the military, PTSD may become even more prevalent. There is no simple formula for why one person develops PTSD while others seem OK.  But one thing is certain; it has nothing to do with a lack of strength, courage, or character.  Sometimes it is simply the hazard of war due to exposure to unspeakable traumatic events, often in life and death situations.

So what signs might you look for when suspecting someone has PTSD? Since the brain is restructured by every act it experiences, it is sensitive to many good and not so good events.  Love, hate, prejudice, kindness, and violence are just a few life experiences. Yet, when the life-threatening events occur over and over again for a long duration of time, or even during one incredibly horrifying event, the mind/brain is seared with the image and emotional feelings become imprinted.

Signs/Characteristics of PTSD:

  • ð Hyperarousal and abnormal startle responses
  • ð Irritability and/or jumpiness; constantly on guard
  • ð Hypervigilance
  • ð Nightmares, insomnia, and night sweats
  • ð Recurrent traumatic memories or flashbacks
  • ð Overwhelming waves of emotions
  • ð Survivor guilt
  • ð Feeling detached and/or emotionally withdrawn from others
  • ð Fragmented sense of self and identity
  • ð Panic attacks
  • ð Shame
  • ð Despair
  • ð Lethargic or lack of motivation/interest in life, work, and family
  • ð Avoidance of common places, activities
  • ð Memory and concentration problems
  • ð Sadness and hopelessness about the future

The key here is that a person generally does not have ALL of these symptoms at once.  Some come more often than others.  One person may have numerous panic attacks, while another may want to isolate himself and not take part in normal daily and family activities.  It is the severity and frequency of the symptoms that would suggest a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress.

May

4

Out of the Darkness

Filed Under Combat PTSD, Life, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD | Comments Off on Out of the Darkness

by Janet J. Seahorn

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“Out of the Darkness, into the Light”. These short seven words explain unmistakably the effects of healing the wounds of PTSD. While reading my daily inspirational “quotes”, I came across this one. We see and hear it often in religious sermons. For the many whose lives have been relentlessly challenged by life’s experiences and survived only by the grace of a higher power or some special intervention, we have an intimate understanding of going from darkness to light. 

Sometimes we may reflect on how exactly we got to a “lighter” place:  lighter by the brilliance of radiance in our days, lighter in our spirits that carry a heavy burden, unseen, unfelt, and often times misunderstood, and lighter in our physical bodies that endured the trauma from our past. 

The answer to how we got to the light may not be as important as the blessing, we are here. In reality, we don’t remain in this space of lightness every moment. Yet, when we experience these twinkles of happiness, we feel a profound sense of peace. A peace that lets us know we are not alone in our battles. A peace that validates we are loved and cared for during our conflicts. A peace that leaves us with the hope that when we are thrown back into the abyss, we CAN and WILL be able to climb back up to the light. Just trusting this inner knowing is what gets us through the dark days and nights. It is what enables us to wake each morning with new expectations for the day.  Without such trust it would be impossible to continue the journey, for the path is too unpredictable.

Healing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is built on the trust that through inner strength and outer resources we can not only survive and mend, we can thrive. Trauma can cause immense changes in our brains and bodies. It is not merely a matter of  ‘sucking it up’  that will move us toward better physical and emotional health; it is taking action to get that help needed for healing. For most physical illnesses this is obvious. If one has a life-threatening disease, he/she would get outside, professional help. She would endure the devastating effects of chemo and radiation to survive. He would go through open heart surgery to repair the damaged organ expecting months of rehabilitation and physical therapy. However, with emotional trauma, some in society still seem to attach a stigma.  The only weapon for dissolving the stigma is knowledge. And the only way knowledge blossoms is through openness, education, and courage. 

You see it will take each of us to continue to share our insights with others. Truthfully, it is far easier to remain silent, hiding our wounds from the eyes of world. Yet, knowledge does not grow in such darkness. It requires light, nourishment, and valor. So it is up to each of us to contribute to the understanding of PTSD and how one can move “out of the darkness, into the light.”

Blessings and continue mending.

Nov

6

When Humpty-Dumpty is Mom

Filed Under PTSD treatment, Today's War, Treating PTSD, Women in Combat | Comments Off on When Humpty-Dumpty is Mom

by Janet J. Seahorn

humpty-dumpty

War is hell, and there is no polite way to put it. 

But when modern war is fought by women as well as men, it can take an even more challenging toil on a family and community. 

As Americans, we are quickly learning that our country and its military facilities are struggling to provide appropriate treatment for its female troops.  There are many services for men; yet, we are not prepared to offer some of the same options for women.

This week I had two events occur from two different parts of the country.  The first was a disturbing phone call from a friend, who has several family members serving in the military.  All have fought in Iraq. Her son has been to both Iraq and Afghanistan on numerous tours of duty.

Her concern, however, was for her female family member.  After serving in Iraq the military woman has been home for almost three years, taking care of two small children while working full time in a demanding job.  The young mother had been exposed to a great deal while deployed, and has done her best to return to normal life stateside.

 Most of the time things are fine, but a few weeks ago, the memories, anxieties, and panic attacks returned with a vengeance.  As we have discussed numerous times in our blogs, the ghosts of combat often come back to take up residence in the homes of the military personnel. 

Without hesitation, this bright lady and her family sought help through the VA.  She has wisely enrolled in our local VA Clinic upon return from combat.  This time, however, she would need more intense treatment. 

Not a problem, except, that the only facility that could accommodate women only is in another state, making the decision to leave her family and work a great deal more difficult.

The second incident came via an article in the New York Times which was sent to me exactly two days after the first event.  Reading over the article’s information was all too familiar.  I had heard it just two days before.  The article by Damien Cave stated, “Never before has this country seen so many women paralyzed by the psychological scars of combat. 

As of June 2008, 19,084 female veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan had received diagnoses of mental disorders from the Department of Veteran Affairs, including 8,454 women with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress — and this number does not include troops still active, or those who have never used the V.A. system” (Internet, Nov. 1, 2009).

The article continued to comment on what we have heard from many female vets, that because they are women, “people underestimate what these women have been through” (Resick, Internet, Nov. 1, 2009). 

Since war has been traditionally fought by men, we have seen the Humpty-Dumpty effect. But what happens when Humpty is Mom?  What happens when Mom is the wounded warrior? What happens to the children?  What happens to the organizational system of the home: the washing, cooking, cleaning, and daily tasks? 

Who steps up to help nurture the nurturer when she needs comfort, care, and support?  These are vital questions that need to be explored and addressed.

When Humpty-Dumpty is Mom, she can be put back together; however, the tools and glue may be pink instead of blue.

Sep

16

The Strength of One

Filed Under Civilian life, PTSD treatment | 6 Comments

-by Janet Seahorn

csa-2005-08-09-082540

It had been several months since I last saw him.  The end of last semester during finals to be exact.  He had been a student in one of my university classes.  He was a big, strapping, young man who almost always had a smile on his face and some funny comments to amuse his table mates.

Before that semester began, I knew that several of my new students were National Guard or had served in the military; he was among them. On one occasion, he told me that he had been on active duty and had just returned from a tour in a war zone. Iraq one day, and the next day he was signed up and attending classes at the university.  No transition time whatsoever.  Yet, he seemed to take it all in stride. He even joined a fraternity. 

A few times I had spoken with him about some of his experiences and asked if he knew anything about Post Traumatic Stress.  Without much dialogue he nodded and mentioned that he had some symptoms but he was coping quite well.  And by all outward appearance and on most days he was fine.  Only a few times did I recognize the demons had visited him, but thankfully, they didn’t seem to stay very long. 

The semester wore on without much concern until the last month when he was absent a few times – until then he attended every class and only missed on rare occasions.  One absence occurred the first day of class.  He had e-mailed me ahead of time to let me know he would be missing that session because he was attending the funeral of one of his best friends.  Only later did I learn the funeral was a young marine who had been in our local papers and had recently died in Iraq. 

The marine had been a close high school friend.  They had been star players on their football team, shared Saturday night outings  built on a foundation of boyhood friendship. 

After our “catch-up” talk, he mentioned that the summer had been tough.  He had an accident which broke some bones in his ankle.  He could not participate in all of the fun activities that had anticipated during the school year.  Given the pain and the down time of recuperation, the memories resurfaced; the trauma of his tour of duty in Iraq, what he saw and had to cope with, the decisions he had to make on a daily basis – returned to haunt him. 

Typical of his strong personality, he downplayed most of the symptoms.  Yet, this is an intelligent young man.  He did not dismiss the symptoms and stated that he was getting help for his PTSD.  Just knowing this put my mind at ease.  I could only imagine what courage it took to take this step.  Hopefully, other vets who know him will follow his example.  He will get better – faster, in a healthier manner. 

Just a side note: I no longer choose to call this a “disorder”.  It seems to me the more I learn and understand this phenomenon, the more I believe that PTS(D) is the minds/body’s incredibly creative way to deal with an unusually horrendous life event. 

Had the mind not employed the immediate reaction of numbing and stuffing the event, the person may have died.  To avoid the ultimate death sentence, the mind/brain made a split second decision to unconsciously remove itself from the trauma until a later time; a time when the body was safe to explore the event without being in the line of fire. 

Pretty amazing and effective when you think about it.  If the brain wasn’t such a protective, innovative problem solver many of us would not be around today.  Yea, for our amazing brain.  Maybe it is not “disordered” at all, just creatively restructured for a bit.

In a few weeks I will attend a conference on Traumatic Brain Injury (TBIs).  Of course I will be writing about this experience and sharing some of the information with our blog readers.  Stay tuned.

 

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