Dec

30

The Journey Begins

Filed Under Return To Vietnam | 6 Comments

"Lest We Forget"

"Lest We Forget"

It is late Tuesday evening and I have spent the day taking down the Christmas tree, cleaning house, washing clothes, picking up last minute items, and packing for our long awaited trip to Vietnam.  A trip that we feel quite excited as well as a bit apprehensive to be taking.  It is almost as if we are putting our past and present in order —- a preparation for a new future.  The fact that we will be beginning a new year when we leave very early January 1, 2009 is almost too metaphorical for our situation.  We are trying hard not to anticipate what might happen once in country, but feel prepared.  Monday we visited a therapist in Cheyenne who trained us both on a deep breathing activity that we can utilize if either one of us gets to feeling a bit anxious or overwhelmed.  Somedays it would be nice to be two again — all we would need to feel comforted would be a blankie and a soft teddy bear.  Guess we will have to settled for the deep breathing and maybe a big, fluffy pillow.  Happy New Year and may this coming year truly bring peace and good will to all.

Dec

23

Light a Candle

Filed Under Light A Candle | 1 Comment

After Christmas I will begin to write about the characteristics, challenges, and stories of living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  Right now, however, it is the Christmas Season.  A season of the coming of Christ and all the hope and love that this symbolizes regardless of a religious belief – as I believe that the spirit of humanity is called many names and appears to various peoples and cultures in a multitude of forms and beliefs. There will be ample time after the holidays to talk about the many faces of trauma.  What we need now is more compassion and kindness for all of mankind.  So it is with the spirit of this special time of year that I ask each person reading this blog to light one candle of HOPE every day until the New Year.  As the small flame glows, say a small prayer for every person who is away from home in a far away country struggling to bring freedom to others.  Say a prayer for the well-being of their families that each will be comforted with the warmth of confidence and trust that their loved one will return safe and sound.  Then say another prayer for those innocent people whose homelands have been destroyed by violence and war.  For they are wounded themselves and suffer as well.  And keep in mind this special quote by Noah benShea, “We are people with lanterns going in search of a light”.  For any veteran who has fought in combat and suffered the long-term memories of war, I am sure that each one has a special wish everyday of the year – Peace on earth, good will towards man.  Now that would be some miracle.  Imagine!

Dec

22

Southeast Asia Trip

Filed Under Return To Vietnam | 4 Comments

Freedom Isn't Free

On New Year’s Day, Jan & I will be flying from Denver to Hong Kong to begin our 3-week journey through Southeast Asia. This will be my first return to Vietnam since my military tour-of-duty in the late 1960’s.

This blog, “Return To Vietnam” will be used to briefly chronicle the highlights of our trip as we move south to Hanoi, then on to Danang & Hue and eventually to the Delta Region of Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City).

We will also venture on to Thailand, Cambodia and end up in Singapore. 

Our plan is to update our blog about every three days as we move through the various regions of our trip.

Dec

15

Troop Deployment Meeting

Filed Under Tears | 4 Comments

100_3389It is a crisp December afternoon two weeks before Christmas. My husband, Tony, and I are driving up to Cheyenne, WY to meet with the National Guard’s Brigade Commander, COL Richard Knowlton and his immediate staff. Along the roadside we come across a herd of magnificent buffalo grazing on the hillside much like they did a century before. Their presence reminded me of how minor time is and how closely linked humankind is to the past, present, and future. Over many decades, these animals were slaughtered off by the ignorance of mankind. Yet, they survived, in spite of enormous odds, they are still with us. For a moment the picture gives me a bit of hope that we, as Americans, will continue to move beyond the challenges of the present moment. That our troops will be able to sustain the test of war, and return to us safe and whole in body, mind, and spirit.

And then my heart remembers Wednesday evening. We attended a community/family information meeting for area businesses and families of guard members who will be deployed in April, 2009 to serve in Kuwait and Iraq. This will be a troop size of over 900 men and women going overseas, the largest deployment of Wyoming National Guard in the current theatre of war. In total, COL Knowlton will be in charge of 2400 National Guard troops coming from five states: Wyoming, Colorado, South Dakota, Michigan, and Arkansas. They will be out of country for one year.

Historically, the National Guard was set up to serve within the borders of the United States. They help out in national disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, floods, fires, or other needed functions to protect Americans on American’s soil. Now the landscape of their duties has changed drastically. They are being asked to become combat warriors, to fight battles in lands far beyond their small state of Wyoming. They are trying in every way to ready themselves for this enormous task.

As with all deployments, I am struck by the faces of mothers, fathers, spouses, and children apprehensive about the well-being of their loved ones. With this situation, however, I now see the faces of business people who employ these warriors and must find ways to take on the extra duties and responsibilities that were filled by each man and woman being deployed. It will not be an easy task, yet it makes the war, somehow, more real to a community where their next door neighbor or work buddy will be absent and in harms way for a very long time. In doing so, the community will have to become even closer in providing services for their organization as well as exploring ways to support and care for the families being left behind to maneuver everyday life without a significant member of the family.

During the meeting COL Knowlton and his staff go over information regarding deployment: timelines, roles, responsibilities, communication protocols and other necessary items that are pertinent to the deployment and assignment overseas. All in all, this is a standard meeting until he puts up two slides, one on PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). My heart tightened like a vise had been clenched around it. Was he really going to talk about these two silent enemies, the unspoken and oftentimes unacknowledged residues of combat? And he does, with openness, clarity, and compassion. He speaks of the sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and anger. He describes the importance of getting help immediately and urges family members to be vigilant for signs of emotional and physical distress once their soldier returns from war. It has been our experience that most military, for fear of making a situation even worse, avoid these topics. Yet, COL Knowlton and his staff do not take the easy route.

Instead, they offer suggestions to both the guardsmen and the families. Suggestions such as when you return, tell your story and loved ones please listen compassionately. Believe in God. Believe in the power of the human spirit. Don’t hold a grudge because anger destroys and bitterness does not allow the spirit to heal. And then to all of us staying behind remember to say Thank You. Thank You for serving. Thank You for your courage. And most of all, Thank You for all that you have given up and may in the future have to continue to endure because you chose to serve your God, your country, and your community.

Then my eyes filled with tears because I recalled so many instances when I have said these words to a veteran and he/she broke down sobbing, and guilt for the times I should have said the word, Thank You and did not.

In ending COL Knowlton put his hand over his heart and told each guardsman and family member in the audience that these individuals that he is now commanding and will take to the battle front are deeply embedded in his heart. Every one is his family, a family of selfless, courageous warriors. And looking into his eyes, and reading his strong, straight body language you knew what he spoke was the truth and you believed. Believed that he would do everything in his power to protect his troops. Do everything humanly possibly to return each and every warrior to his/her loved one in tack: physically, mentally, and spiritually. And I believed.

Merry Christmas, America. We are free because of our warriors and the sacrifice of their families and communities. Thank You and God keep you safe.