Sep
5
IF YOU’RE NOT OK, THEN WE’RE NOT OK
Filed Under Black Lions, Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, Family, Life, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off
by Janet J. Seahorn
Every day there are more and more wounded victims of war. These are the spouses, the children, the parents, the sisters and brothers of the veteran… and the list grows. It is one reason that we continually urge those impacted by serving in a war zone to get help as soon as possible if they begin to feel the “fall out” effects of combat.
There are centuries of evidence that prove this point. When a person returns from a traumatic experience and normal life is no longer normal, those around will become part of the trauma. It is an obvious statement, yet, there are too many veterans and families that refuse to acknowledge and deal with the situation.
It is like having an elephant in the room that no one wants to recognize or admit is there. The unrealistic thinking goes something like this… “If I just ignore the large problem, it will eventually go away”. The only problem with the problem is that it does not go away, in fact, it often grows bigger and bigger. And it begins to become more active. Imagine having a raging elephant in the room charging around with its large tusk and huge trunk. Wow, and I haven’t even mentioned all the crap it leaves lying around. It feeds on everything in sight, so eventually your house is a mess and you don’t have a safe place to hide from the growing beast.
Human nature seeks coherence and peace, even in the most chaotic of times. It is always looking for that which is safe and enjoyable. It craves stability and excitement, joy and delight. When these are absent for long periods of time, it is easy for depression and hopelessness to set in. You see, if someone you deeply care about is not OK, then it is quite challenging for you to be OK. And if both of us are not OK, then WE, as a couple, a family, a relationship, are not OK! Herein lies the hard choice — you can either accept the “crap” and continue on the path you may currently be on, or you can make another choice. A choice that can lead to healing. A choice that may allow the relationship to be more positive and loving. A choice that begins to do something about THAT elephant in the room.
Either way, we all choose which way we will continue our journey. Whatever choice we make will not be an easy path. However, one definitely has more constructive possibilities than the other. We persistently mention that if children are involved, than getting the elephant out of the room is crucial to their well-being and healthy development. As adults, we make our own choices, but children are subject to the outcomes of our choices. More than likely, they don’t get to have a voice; they are the helpless victims of our selection, good and bad. Therefore, think deeply about what you are and are not doing. Your children’s lives depend on which options you make.
For some of us, we didn’t have the information about PTSD, TBIs (Traumatic Brain Injuries), and other impacts of war. We did the best we could; at least, we want to hope we did. New military personnel have better information. They can and must make better choices, if not for themselves, for their children and the future of our next generation. Healthy life truly depends on this choice.
Jun
30
PTSD Series Discussion #5
Filed Under Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off
By Janet J. Seahorn
When is it time to seek outside help?
This is pretty easy to answer: You will know if it is time to seek outside help when the behavior of the serviceperson becomes abnormally un-normal. When life becomes a teeter-totter of ups and downs that can’t seem to be controlled no matter how hard you try. When your surroundings and relationships seem unstable and unsafe and you aren’t sure why, get help.
When my husband began experiencing PTSD, neither one of us had a clue what was going on at the time. There was no such thing as Post-Traumatic Stress. War was something that a person went to, came home from and tried to move on. It wasn’t discussed. It wasn’t thought about (or so we once thought and wanted to believe).
No one considered how the events of combat could impact an individual for the rest of his life. If you came home somewhat physically whole, that was a gift. You healed physically, and you lived as if all the horror from battle never happened. The past was the past and it should not impact one’s future. What an absurd assumption.
Now we understand that nothing in our past is ever fully in the past. The good and the difficult follow us wherever we go. We are part of our experiences. With understanding, courage, and information we may gain strength and wisdom to move forward. Getting outside help can guide us in forming the wisdom and understanding needed for healing.
What are some good resources for help with PTSD or TBI?
There are many resources available to our military service men and women. Check with your local Veteran’s Administration Center if you suspect you need support. You may need to be referred to a Veteran Hospital for further testing and diagnosis, especially if you suspect a traumatic brain injury. Every state has several local centers that have been established to help veterans find the appropriate placement and support needed to get the services they may require. (VA Centers are listed in our book)
Don’t stop at NO if you are convinced you have something wrong that necessitates some form of treatment. Sometimes all you need is that one special person who can take your situation seriously enough to get help. Our family personally saw this happen with my brother. He was extremely wary of anyone associated with the government. As a Vietnam vet, his mistrust of a broken, ineffective system made him reluctant to seek help from a military or veteran organization of any kind. Once he decided to seek services he ran into several brick walls. Yet, he kept trying, until he finally found a former army sergeant who took his situation seriously and made things happen.
It only took one person to make a difference. Don’t’ give up or give in to frustration. Keep going. Help is available, but sometimes you may have to fight for it just like you did in battle. If you did it then, you can do it now.
In ending, we want to thank you and your loved ones for your service and sacrifice. You have made a difference that few will understand, or perhaps fully appreciate. Nevertheless, please recognize the depth of your courage, strength and warrior spirit. These are the attributes that sustained you through combat, and now they will do so again in moving you towards healing and a better life.
Jun
24
Healing Waters & Wounded Warriors
Filed Under Healing Waters, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Treating PTSD, War | 1 Comment
by Janet J. Seahorn
How do we mend a wounded body or soul? How do we take a step forward in healing a spirit that has been battered by the trauma of battle? One possibility is to introduce the wounded warrior to a place of cooling waters, a place where fish are abundant and one can float through the waters which hum a soothing lullaby of serenity. Project Healing Waters is a volunteer organization that is dedicated to supporting the mending process of military personnel and veterans who have been impacted by the effects of combat. And it uses waters and fly fishing to achieve its mission.
The idea originated when its founder, Ed Nicholson, a veteran of previous war, was himself being treated at Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington D.C. when he noticed a number of young warriors sitting idly in the waiting room. Ed decided to invite several to go fishing with him. On that first excursion, he discovered how this simple fishing experience made a huge difference both physically and emotionally with the young vets. Where eyes were once vacant, there was now a light of excitement; where physical energy was almost stagnate, a resurgence of vigor returned; and where a life seemed consumed by pain and hopelessness, Mother Nature breathed her message of rebirth and Trust into the mind, heart, body, and soul of the wounded warrior.
Ironically, the Healing Waters Foundation has found that the greatest challenge is getting Wounded Warriors to the program. Recruitment is a huge obstacle, partly because of the physical and emotional needs of the individuals, and partly because of the legal ramifications of the vet centers/hospital treating the individuals. Gosh, I never imagined the number of logistical barriers faced by organizations wanting to help make a difference.
Project Healing Waters tries to work through a VA therapist to identify prospective participants. By having a solid system in place, both the support organization and the VA centers can offer a clearer, more holistic approach to healing. The intervention received by the vet can then be measured and assessed as to what works best and why. This knowledge can then be shared with other VA centers and hospitals across the United States.
Ancient cultures have long understood that wounds of the body and soul need a holistic approach for healing to occur. Medications, cognitive therapies, surgeries simply aren’t enough. Where medications have some difficult side effects, nature offers only blessings. Where daily life often brings disorder, there is an order in nature – a way in which all things seem divinely connected from a single rain drop to a flowering mountain meadow. Where days feel misaligned, nature realigns the soul and spirit, letting us knows that all is as it should be. And where our day- by-day activities may seem bounded by the constraints of “to do lists”, nature chants a song of freedom, encouraging us to spread our wings and soar – even if these wings feel shattered.
So, if you are a disabled vet, knock down the door of your local VA center or hospital and request that your medical personnel get you aligned with a volunteer from Healing Waters. This can also be a breathtaking opportunity for you and your family.
Healing Waters volunteers serve as mentors and companions to our country’s wounded warriors. Their mission is uncomplicated – it is merely about healing and mending minds, bodies, and spirits – one unhurried cast at a time – one soothing river somewhere in America. Casting, Healing. Casting, Healing. Casting, Healing, and the wounds begin to slowly mend.
HEALING WATERS
My soul was battered by combat’s horrors,
So I went to the water to heal.
Wounds covered by flesh with war torn scars,
I went to the water to heal.
My heart was broken unable to feel,
I went to the water to heal.
And the water murmured softly–
Be at peace my precious son
Your soul is safe,
Your battles are done.
My waters shall cool and soothe your weary heart,
You came to me
Your healing can now start.
Not knowing where to turn for comfort or for calm,
I went to the water to heal.
The deafening clatter of ghosts from the past,
I went to the water to heal.
The strain of the city made my sanity reel,
I went to the water to heal.
And the water murmured softly
Sit beside me and be still,
Listen to my tranquil song
Let your soul be filled.
My waters shall comfort your torn and tattered soul.
You came to me
I will purge you of your foes.
For sacred, healing waters
are not new to any man,
They’ve been around a long time
Lapping shores of golden sand.
Silently restoring with their tender, gentle hands
A Life to kinder being
Healing water shall command.
by Janet J. Seahorn
May
25
PTSD Series Discussion #3
Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off
Question 4: If I, as a serviceperson, have PTSD, how can I help myself?
First, be honest with yourself. As stated in the last question, do not ignore the signs that you are suffering from serving in combat. Do not pretend that things are fine; that the problem lies with everyone around you such as your spouse, children, neighbors, family, or co-workers. Watch for signs such as increased anger, irritability, depression, and/or isolation from normal family events. Resisting the feelings associated with PTSD only exacerbates the problem. The best thing you can do if you think something is not normal is to visit your Veteran’s Center as soon as possible. These centers have become much more proficient in serving the military population’s needs than they were during past conflicts. Physicians and therapists now recognize and understand in better detail the effects of PTSD and how to treat it. Don’t wait. Help is available. The sooner you get assistance, the sooner your life will begin to move forward in a manner that allows you to live more fully. You deserve to be at peace, to be happy and so does your family. You and your loved ones have given enough in serving your country. Now it is time that your country does something for you. Help is waiting; don’t wait another minute to get it. Life is too precious to be wasted fighting demons from the past. Today is the only thing you have that will make a difference for tomorrow. So use today wisely to gain understanding, healing, and perhaps some peace of mind and spirit.
Other suggestions include spending time outdoors. Nature offers us a tremendous healing environment, especially for emotional wounds. We find hiking, fishing, skiing, and simply just being in the wilderness soothes much of our anxieties and internal tensions. Pets are also a therapeutic comfort. A great deal of research has been conducted that has shown the positive impact animals have on a person’s well being. Because our pets love us unconditionally, are non-judgmental, and provide a sense of safety and security, they are one of the very best options for keeping us sane and healthier both physically and emotionally. A few additional suggestions that we have found quite beneficial are meditation, aroma therapy (no kidding J), body massage, and heavy doses of laughter. Humor is a terrific medication since it is almost impossible to be angry and laughing at the same time. It releases endorphins that alleviate body pain, and provides a huge dose of oxygen to the brain and muscles.
Question 5: What can I, as a family member, do to help someone with PTSD or a TBI?
There can be a major difference between a person suffering from PTSD and someone who has incurred a TBI (traumatic brain injury). A TBI is a physical injury to the brain, where PTSD is more a reordering of the neuro networks in the brain. Many times a person with a TBI may also have some form of PTSD, mainly because he/she was in a situation that caused physical and emotional damage to the individual and/or others in the company. As with all illness and trauma, the more informed you become the better you are at making appropriate decisions in handling the circumstances. Illness and problems must first begin with immediate recognition that something is not quite right. The sooner you recognize the signs of PTSD, the sooner you can begin the healing process. Once again, it is dangerous to ignore the obvious and pretend things will get better with time. Too often, this does not happen by itself. Time can make behaviors and tensions more precarious, destroying personal relationships and family cohesion. No one benefits by waiting. Spouses get tired of walking through the “mindfields” of the traumatized serviceperson. Children suffer because they can’t and don’t’ understand why mommy or daddy are not always the same kind; loving parents they were before war.
When a family member returns from combat with PTSD, everyone close to him must join together to offer support, hope, and comfort. In doing so, however, you must set suitable boundaries that will keep the family safe and well-balanced. If children are involved, they must be at the forefront of your concern. Their physical and emotional well-being is of utmost important. Living with a parent who has untreated PTSD can have long-term, negative consequences on a developing child. Getting immediate treatment for your spouse and yourself will be the best line of defense in moving towards the life you want to live and the family unit you want to be.
May
13
PTSD Series Discussion #1
Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off
Several weeks ago we were ask to respond to a set of questions regarding Post-Traumatic Stress and combat vets. These responses will be used in a short pamphlet/flip book that will be distributed through another organization. We thought many of our readers might find the questions and our feedback useful. Today’s blog is the first of our five part series. (Part 1 of 5)
•1. How do I know if my serviceperson might be suffering from PTSD? (Symptoms, possibly)
This is a great question with a not so simple answer. Not every person who returns from serving in a war zone ends up with Post-Traumatic Stress. A great deal depends on the amount of time the person spent serving under combat conditions, as well as how many traumatic events occurred during his/her deployment. Most doctors and researchers agree that the more time spent away form home, and the more distressing events experienced during each deployment, the greater the likelihood the person may experience some form of PTSD. If the individual was already predisposed to stressful home or environmental factors before joining the military, PTSD may become even more prevalent. There is no simple formula for why one person develops PTSD while others seem OK. But one thing is certain; it has nothing to do with a lack of strength, courage, or character. Sometimes it is simply the hazard of war due to exposure to unspeakable traumatic events, often in life and death situations.
So what signs might you look for when suspecting someone has PTSD? Since the brain is restructured by every act it experiences, it is sensitive to many good and not so good events. Love, hate, prejudice, kindness, and violence are just a few life experiences. Yet, when the life-threatening events occur over and over again for a long duration of time, or even during one incredibly horrifying event, the mind/brain is seared with the image and emotional feelings become imprinted.
Signs/Characteristics of PTSD:
- ð Hyperarousal and abnormal startle responses
- ð Irritability and/or jumpiness; constantly on guard
- ð Hypervigilance
- ð Nightmares, insomnia, and night sweats
- ð Recurrent traumatic memories or flashbacks
- ð Overwhelming waves of emotions
- ð Survivor guilt
- ð Feeling detached and/or emotionally withdrawn from others
- ð Fragmented sense of self and identity
- ð Panic attacks
- ð Shame
- ð Despair
- ð Lethargic or lack of motivation/interest in life, work, and family
- ð Avoidance of common places, activities
- ð Memory and concentration problems
- ð Sadness and hopelessness about the future
The key here is that a person generally does not have ALL of these symptoms at once. Some come more often than others. One person may have numerous panic attacks, while another may want to isolate himself and not take part in normal daily and family activities. It is the severity and frequency of the symptoms that would suggest a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress.
May
4
Out of the Darkness
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Life, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD | Comments Off
by Janet J. Seahorn
“Out of the Darkness, into the Light”. These short seven words explain unmistakably the effects of healing the wounds of PTSD. While reading my daily inspirational “quotes”, I came across this one. We see and hear it often in religious sermons. For the many whose lives have been relentlessly challenged by life’s experiences and survived only by the grace of a higher power or some special intervention, we have an intimate understanding of going from darkness to light.
Sometimes we may reflect on how exactly we got to a “lighter” place: lighter by the brilliance of radiance in our days, lighter in our spirits that carry a heavy burden, unseen, unfelt, and often times misunderstood, and lighter in our physical bodies that endured the trauma from our past.
The answer to how we got to the light may not be as important as the blessing, we are here. In reality, we don’t remain in this space of lightness every moment. Yet, when we experience these twinkles of happiness, we feel a profound sense of peace. A peace that lets us know we are not alone in our battles. A peace that validates we are loved and cared for during our conflicts. A peace that leaves us with the hope that when we are thrown back into the abyss, we CAN and WILL be able to climb back up to the light. Just trusting this inner knowing is what gets us through the dark days and nights. It is what enables us to wake each morning with new expectations for the day. Without such trust it would be impossible to continue the journey, for the path is too unpredictable.
Healing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is built on the trust that through inner strength and outer resources we can not only survive and mend, we can thrive. Trauma can cause immense changes in our brains and bodies. It is not merely a matter of ‘sucking it up’ that will move us toward better physical and emotional health; it is taking action to get that help needed for healing. For most physical illnesses this is obvious. If one has a life-threatening disease, he/she would get outside, professional help. She would endure the devastating effects of chemo and radiation to survive. He would go through open heart surgery to repair the damaged organ expecting months of rehabilitation and physical therapy. However, with emotional trauma, some in society still seem to attach a stigma. The only weapon for dissolving the stigma is knowledge. And the only way knowledge blossoms is through openness, education, and courage.
You see it will take each of us to continue to share our insights with others. Truthfully, it is far easier to remain silent, hiding our wounds from the eyes of world. Yet, knowledge does not grow in such darkness. It requires light, nourishment, and valor. So it is up to each of us to contribute to the understanding of PTSD and how one can move “out of the darkness, into the light.”
Blessings and continue mending.
Apr
23
Dog—–God
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Dogs, Pets, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD | Comments Off
by Janet J. Seahorn
Look into the face of your loving four-legged pet, and I would bet you would see the eyes of GOD. A being so unconditionally loving and faithful, that nothing or no one could keep it from being near our sides. We have written several times about the value of pets. For someone living with Posttraumatic Stress or a serious Traumatic Brain Injury, pets can offer a sense of comfort and well-being that are beyond modern medications; and the side effects are far more positive.
We get many comments and videos from our readers testifying to the upbeat effects their pets have had on them. This week a friend sent us a one we had not seen before. We thought many of you would enjoy viewing this short and touching piece. We also included another written story that has appeared over the internet on many occasions. More than likely, most of you have read it, but every time I see it, and am tempted to delete without reading… something pulls me to the picture and I begin viewing it once more, ending always with tear filled Kleenexes.
You see, this last piece is a true chronicle of what many of our service people and their loving pets sacrifice for our country. Not everyone understands that pets pay a high price for their masters’ deployment. Yet, they do, silently, patiently waiting for that one special person to return. There is no greater joy than the homecoming of a beloved member of a family.
So here is to DOG and to GOD: D = Devotion; O = Omnipresent; G = Goodness/Gift; in any order it means the same thing.
Nov
6
When Humpty-Dumpty is Mom
Filed Under PTSD treatment, Today's War, Treating PTSD, VA Center, Women in Combat | Comments Off
by Janet J. Seahorn
War is hell, and there is no polite way to put it.
But when modern war is fought by women as well as men, it can take an even more challenging toil on a family and community.
As Americans, we are quickly learning that our country and its military facilities are struggling to provide appropriate treatment for its female troops. There are many services for men; yet, we are not prepared to offer some of the same options for women.
This week I had two events occur from two different parts of the country. The first was a disturbing phone call from a friend, who has several family members serving in the military. All have fought in Iraq. Her son has been to both Iraq and Afghanistan on numerous tours of duty.
Her concern, however, was for her female family member. After serving in Iraq the military woman has been home for almost three years, taking care of two small children while working full time in a demanding job. The young mother had been exposed to a great deal while deployed, and has done her best to return to normal life stateside.
Most of the time things are fine, but a few weeks ago, the memories, anxieties, and panic attacks returned with a vengeance. As we have discussed numerous times in our blogs, the ghosts of combat often come back to take up residence in the homes of the military personnel.
Without hesitation, this bright lady and her family sought help through the VA. She has wisely enrolled in our local VA Clinic upon return from combat. This time, however, she would need more intense treatment.
Not a problem, except, that the only facility that could accommodate women only is in another state, making the decision to leave her family and work a great deal more difficult.
The second incident came via an article in the New York Times which was sent to me exactly two days after the first event. Reading over the article’s information was all too familiar. I had heard it just two days before. The article by Damien Cave stated, “Never before has this country seen so many women paralyzed by the psychological scars of combat.
As of June 2008, 19,084 female veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan had received diagnoses of mental disorders from the Department of Veteran Affairs, including 8,454 women with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress — and this number does not include troops still active, or those who have never used the V.A. system” (Internet, Nov. 1, 2009).
The article continued to comment on what we have heard from many female vets, that because they are women, “people underestimate what these women have been through” (Resick, Internet, Nov. 1, 2009).
Since war has been traditionally fought by men, we have seen the Humpty-Dumpty effect. But what happens when Humpty is Mom? What happens when Mom is the wounded warrior? What happens to the children? What happens to the organizational system of the home: the washing, cooking, cleaning, and daily tasks?
Who steps up to help nurture the nurturer when she needs comfort, care, and support? These are vital questions that need to be explored and addressed.
When Humpty-Dumpty is Mom, she can be put back together; however, the tools and glue may be pink instead of blue.
Oct
20
PTSD Suffering & Control
Filed Under PTSD, Trauma, Treating PTSD | 1 Comment
By Janet J. Seahorn
This may be one of the most important blogs that I have written. Important because we are quickly becoming a people who, due to the recent attention on Post Traumatic Stress, are beginning to lump into the same basket all vets who return from conflict challenged by PTSD.
This is a major dilemma. It is vital that we as a nation, as communities, and as families start to have a more accurate description of the effects of combat trauma. Important because without correct information, we cannot help to mend the minds, hearts, and souls of those who suffer.
For that reason, solid facts through research on PTSD lead to better care. The problem, however, occurs when the media focuses only on those individuals who behave in extreme ways. Ways that make news casts, papers, and internet reading more exciting.
For the vast majority of veterans who return from combat tormented by the memories of war, the battle is within and remains there, silently distressing the individual.
But here is what is key to remember; the majority of vets are not personally or professional “out of control”. In fact, they spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to remain in control. For many, the periods of distress are when the person is alone, safe within the confines of house and home, or experiencing a severe physical or family crisis.
For most, the only people who see the anxiety and panic are not the outside world, but rather those within the vet’s inner-most circles: spouses, children, siblings, parents, and very close friends.
There are already many young (and some older vets) who are refusing to acknowledge they have a problem, or seek medical interventions even when they realize they need it. And why would they? Fearing they will be labeled and thrown into that “media basket” of dysfunction, they prefer to maintain a mask of silence. This isn’t acceptable, nor is it effective in mending the situation.
Yes, PTSD is a reality for many in our world, not just combat vets. For sure, it is a challenge like any “reordering” of the mind and body. Yet, most individuals move forward to live productive, successful lives. And if the individual gets appropriate medical and professional attention, that life and those who are closest to him/her, the living becomes immensely easier.
So let’s begin to write and tell stories of these quiet, courageous men and women. Stories of heroes and heroines who survive and manage to prosper in many areas of their lives; appreciating the fact that to be a hero requires an extraordinary act of bravery within an ordinary human spirit.
Sep
8
A New Beginning
Filed Under PTSD treatment, Treating PTSD | 1 Comment
-by Janet Seahorn
In a previous blog we wrote about the Wilderness and Healing. Before that we talked about how PTSD + Joy = Peace, Maybe — can move us toward wellbeing.
This week’s focus is a continuation of both ideas, an extension of how we can heal, can move forward and grow healthier. What every suffering person is searching for is a GENISUS – a new beginning, new start, a sort of rebirth.
So this is the big question, “what will be our new beginning after a trauma experience?” Trauma does not have to be the end of living, but a start of living life in a new way. It begins with the seeds we are now and grows into the people we want to become.
Imagine that person, vision it with all the bright pictures, melodies, and glory we can see, hear, and feel in our hearts. New beginnings ask us to examine what we learned from our combat/trauma experience, to go beyond the pain and terrible memories, and to rise above them.
To accomplish this mission will require that we put ourselves fully into the human arena. Isolation is not an option. We cannot lock ourselves away physically or emotionally; that means drugs, alcohol, over-working… are simply not possible choices.
The world is too rich, too interesting, too special to isolate ourselves. Yes, there are horrible things that occur. There is violence, greed, and cruel acts. And for every act of brutality, I believe there are many more acts of kindness, beauty, and love. We must not forget to notice these during our times of darkness. We must attempt to appreciate the goodness in the world. It is present. Just look.
An old saying states, “What we focus on persists”. What do we want to persist? We can focus on those things. Write them up. Put them on our refrigerators, nightstands, even our mirrors. The new us begins today. We choose. By no means will it be easy. The new us will not be perfect, but it will be real.
Like the Velveteen Rabbit, he became worn, torn, and aged only through the experience of being touched, loved, and used. And by going through all of his living, he became real. He developed into being alive, for being alive required a multitude of life events both magnificent and sad.
I am sure that if one were to inspect the experiences of the rabbit, he may have been diagnosed with PTSD. And, I am equally sure, that at the end of his days, he would not have traded these experiences for something easier and less physically or emotionally demanding.
He chose life, and so will we!