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by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

            So many questions… most unanswered … fill my mind. Questions such as – What is suffering?  Why does it exist in our world? How do we lessen the feelings of hurt, pain, anger, and hopelessness? Very few responses are suitable for any one person, any one situation. Yet, it seems like nature is one of the few healers in our world of chaos and woundedness.

Last week we were privileged to be a part of a Healing Waters activity at the Blue Valley Ranch inKremmling,Colorado. Twenty four vets from FortCarson who are part of the FortCarson’s reintegration program and several who had been former members of the military took part in the program. For four days and nights Project Healing Waters Staff, along with community members and fishing guides volunteered their time and boats to wade fish theBlueRiverand float theColorado. Everyone strived to make the veteran’s activity a nurturing and healing experience.

Long before the adventure began, participants began learning about the art and craft of fly fishing.  They learned the various life cycles of flies and many even took up fly tying which has proved to be a very important part of their life-long healing. Once the group arrived at the ranch they were fully equipped with expensive fly rods, fishing vests, hats, and other fly fishing necessities. Each veteran was accompanied by a personal guide to assist, coach, and make sure every need was addressed during the four days on the water. BlueValleyRanch is a good steward of the land and the staff works hard to ensure a high level of commitment to their warrior guests.

But here is the fundamental mission of Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing… it is not to merely provide a few lovely days in beautiful surroundings. The primary mission of Healing Waters is to give each wounded warrior an introduction to an activity and potential life experience that can help heal their mind, body and spirit… It is simply not enough to go away for a few days and fish. Staying in touch with the guides, roommates, or others who have touched their hearts is essential. The guides and Healing Waters partners are around to take the participants on future trips. They are available to talk, to go for coffee or a meal, and to merely be an extended part of their new family.

Yes, Healing Waters most definitely provides comfort and hope to any traumatized individual. However, it is people who heal people. It is communities that offer support and nurturing, and it is being with animals and beautiful surroundings in nature that help a wounded soul believe that even in a harsh world, there is still immense beauty waiting to be experienced.

Quite simply it is the unpretentious comfort of nature and humankind that brings one back to believing in the humanity that is still present even if one can’t immediately see or feel its presence.

So, go to the river to heal, and be sure to include your faithful dog companion to complete the experience.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

It was during our work in Hot Springs, SD with the American Legion and the “Honoring Our Heroes” event that we were able to view for the first time the “Quilt of Tears”.  This is an unbelievable sea of orange fabrics with hundreds of patches depicting the stories of those Vietnam veterans and families who have suffered with the effects of Agent Orange.

Much of what is in this blog will be taken from a pamphlet I picked up at the quilt display. The quilt is being cared for, assembled, and driven across the United States by Shelia and Henry Snyder (amrdangel@aol.com).

Many veterans and their family members still do not know much about the effects of exposure to Agent Orange. An accurate number of casualties is “almost impossible to record due to various reasons, but the estimated number has been at 250,000 for quite a few years”, and the number grows every day. Even today, few Americans know that Agent Orange was a powerful herbicide used during the Vietnam War to deforest the jungle in order to set up base camps for our troops. Understanding the effects of Agent Orange on an individual is frightening. These powerful chemicals could literally take down a thick canopy of trees in a short few days. Think about, if it could destroy these huge trees in a matter of days —  imagine what these chemicals could do to the fragile human body.

Exposure to Agent Orange can be fatal. Some of the diseases which are currently thought to be a result of these herbicides are Chloracne, Hodgkin’s Disease, Multiple Myeloma, Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Peripheral Neuropath, Porphyria cutanea tarda, Prostate Cancer, Respiratory Cancers, Soft-Tissue Sarcoma, Type II Diabetes, and illnesses and birth defects for the veteran’s children.

 

It is essential that veterans who have been exposed to Agent Orange get regular physicals complete with CAT Scans to detect the chemicals related to cancers. As with all diseases, early detection is critical to positive long-term outcomes.

The “Quilt of Tears” is a non-profit organization and relies solely on private donations. To learn more go to the website: www.agentorangequiltoftears.com. Individuals can get information on how they can create his or her own personal patch for the quilt at this site.

“Fear not my great soldier…for your story shall be passed down through the years because the fabric of your life is sewn into the Quilt of Tears.”

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

Much of the time we write about the challenges of Post-Traumatic Stress, a silent wound no one can see, yet its effects can consume a person’s mind, heart, spirit, and even soul. However, there is a very physical silent wound that many individuals face, especially veterans who have been in combat zones where IEDs, bomb & RPG blasts and other tragic events cause a physical hearing loss.

Losing any of our senses makes negotiating the daily routines of life much more difficult. And losing the loss of hearing separates one from the ability to participate in the most common of daily tasks. Simple activities like going to the store and trying to communicate with the checkout person, or straining to understand what your waiter is telling you at a restaurant can be challenging.  Consider, also, what it takes to have a conversation on the phone.  Most of us take these common everyday tasks for granted. Thanks goodness for new technologies like texting.

It was an early Friday morning and I was heading to the airport to catch a flight to Louisville, Kentucky. Tony had accepted an invitation for both of us to speak on several panels regarding hearing loss and combat veterans. In between the acceptance and the trip, he got a special opportunity to spend ten days in Alaska fishing for salmon and halibut. This proved to be an offer he couldn’t refuse. So you guessed it, I was doing this one alone, kind of like Tonto without the Lone Ranger.

Once I arrived in Louisville I had the wonderful privilege of spending several days with four wounded veterans and three of their wives. All of the vets had severe hearing loss from an IED explosion or near a suicide bomber, and one who had contacted an unusual illness that caused him to lose his hearing due to the cartilage in his body being eaten away. Three of the four vets also suffered with pretty severe traumatic brain injuries.

What was quite amazing about this group was not what they had lost, but how far they had come in addressing their condition and moving forward. And to make this situation even more remarkable was that each had a wife who was incredibly supportive and tenacious on making sure that her husband fought for his recovery as she helped fight for appropriate services in the healing journey. One of the wives had a Master’s degree in Occupational Therapy while another had a background in working with the deaf and was skilled at sign language and other techniques to use when working with individuals faced with hearing loss.

What was an Aha Moment for me after being around these couples is the fact that there are “tip” sheets to assist with adjustments to hearing loss.

-Tips like stand still and face the individual with whom you are talking.

-Talk clearly.

-Try to keep to the point and don’t overuse words.

Darn, these were things Tony and I learned the hard way. I could have benefited knowing these years ago. The list reminded me of training our dogs… you do the same things… when giving directions or a command. Stand still. Use minimal words such as stay, sit, down, eat, kennel, etc…Kind of showed us that training ourselves sometimes is very much like training our animal friends.

For any person with a hearing loss and especially our returning veterans and families, get informed about all the new technologies and assist devices that can greatly enhance the ability to function. If you are in this category you will have to be your own fervent advocate. If you aren’t satisfied with your services, keep pushing for any new ideas or programs that are available. Do your Google searches. The Veteran Centers are pretty overwhelmed with the number of veterans needing services, therefore, you will need to be the bull terrier not willing to give up or give in until you are convinced all that can be done, has been done.

Adapted hearing devices are available through many American companies. One such organization is Hamilton CapTel. It produces a caption phone that has been a Godsend to Tony. Hamilton CapTel has just launched a new program called Heroes with Hearing Loss  www.heroeswithhearingloss.com  The program focuses on education and information for navigating the world of the hard of hearing. Take a look at their video. You may even want to “Like” them on Facebook to get more information.

http://www.multivu.com/mnr/62613-heroes-with-hearing-loss-new-program-debuts-vfw-national-convention

In the end I am reminded of a quote by Joseph Fort Newton.  It clearly captures the essence of so many of our military personnel and their families who continue to wake up every day and courageously move forward toward their personal healing and their mission of making a difference for others.

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us, how we take it, what we do with it —– and that is what really counts in the end.”

by Tony & Janet Seahorn

            The human heart and mind are amazing in their capacity to experience intense sadness and abundant gratitude at the same time. That lump in the throat is still there as are the tears that cloud my eyes. Yet, the weight of the death of our wonderful Chase seems to be a bit lighter.

            Earlier this week, we visited Chase’s most beloved mountain meadow, high on the Snowy Range in southern Wyoming. It is a beautiful, alpine meadow filled with wild flowers and a running brook. This is the place we chose to spread his ashes and place a stone memorial on a wooded ridge overlooking the peaceful valley below. 

            We promised to make this journey after the early summer snow melt and before the wildflowers were in full bloom.

            His very essence now glides in the winds and rolls gently with the flowing water. White and yellow flowers line his final path. He is at peace, as are we. And younger brother Bailey still romps through the brightly colored grasses chasing after his cherished tennis ball – a reminder that joy is always present around and within our souls.

            As we paid our final respects it seemed as if Chase was giving us his final message:

I am now in my meadow; my ashes white as angels’ wings float with the Wind and flow through the mountain streams to places I never ran in life. 

Peace and beauty will always surround me with a green and white and purple blanket of sweet columbines.        

This is where I was finally meant to be.

Therefore, honor me not with tears of sadness, but with hearts of joyfulness.

                              Remember me with stories and laughter.                               

And most of all know that as much as you loved me I loved you even more.

 

Black Forest Chase

April 23, 1999 – January 4, 2013

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

            One thousand, full sized, American flags flew on a grassy green, long rolling boulevard in Cody, Wyoming.

            It was their second annual Field of Honor Flag Day. Each flag was purchased on someone’s behalf. Sometimes it was for a family member who had served in the military. Some flags were given in honor of a special friend. And some were purchased to show respect and gratitude to an organization or group who has made a difference in their community. At any rate, up until this event, I have never seen so many large flags jam-packed in one place. Quite an impressive sight for these timeworn eyes.

            This vista reminded me of  a saying by Sara Teasdale, “My soul is a broken field, plowed by pain”. This field was created to honor those who sacrificed so much for their country, their communities, and their fellow Americans. Each flag was a tangible reminder of the broken souls, bodies, and hearts impacted by wars old and new.  We brought two flags, one to commemorate an uncle who I had never met who died in WWII as part of Patton’s assault in Normandy; the other was to pay tribute to Tony and all those who served in Vietnam.

            What made this a wonderful event were the charming individuals who attended the four days of celebrations. Much like the Vietnam Wall experience, many visited the Field of Honor to pay their respect, to view the sight of these amazing flags sometimes pounded ruthlessly by the heavy winds of Wyoming. There were times when some of us wondered if they would sustain such severe gusts. Yet, they did, every day, every night, and every gale. Several of the individuals we met were like the flags, tough, reliable, and persistent.

            One veteran, John, was a ninety year old man who served in WWII  in Africa, then Korea, and finally Vietnam. After our presentation he stated he would once again be visited by nightmares and visions from his past war conflicts. “They never seem to go away”, he declared, “and continually find their way into my thoughts and dreams.” The second individual, I watched from our position as guest speakers. He was a young man bouncing around a very small baby who couldn’t be more than a month old. After placing his tiny package into a near-by stroller, he just stood there, listening and watching. Shortly after our talk, I walked over to where he was standing and asked if he was a veteran. “Yes”, he responded. He had served several tours in combat. Much like the stories I told of a few of my university students who tried to return to school after war, he also dropped out, unable to withstand the innocence of a campus youth who have never been exposed to war’s trauma. Now he was in the process of reorganizing his life as a new father/husband, and finding a fulfilling purpose for his life. A life that he will have to fight for in order to live fully.  A life with struggles. Much like his combat encounters, he will have to accept and move forward. A life with some sorrows that must be endured. And a life created with his special song that must be sung with great passion.

            So here is wishing peace to all the John’s that went through too many battles and still struggle with their demons after such a very long time. And for all the young Patrick’s who are composing their own unique melodies.

          May their ballads be full of love, laughter, and happiness.

 

           

 

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

            It has been a really long Memorial Day Week and we are truly exhausted.

            For the last six days we have been privileged to be a part of bringing the large version (80%) Traveling Vietnam Wall to Fort Collins,Colorado. The city of Fort Collins put in its request back in 2003 to host this special event over Memorial Day Weekend. With extensive planning throughout the last six months, the Veterans Plaza Committee of Northern Colorado wondered how many people might visit the Wall and pay homage to all who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to their country.

             Our answer came and all were humbled.

            Thousands came daily. They came to pay their respects. They came to pray. And some came to simply heal a bit more. Seeing the names of classmates and friends lost in battle is sad indeed, but viewing the names of fallen comrades with whom you served is far more profound.

            I watched as young children were educated about how all those names got on the structure.  One small child innocently asked, “You mean they are all dead?” For this tiny boy it was hard to comprehend such a large number. For those who served it was even harder to comprehend and accept once again the huge price of war.

            The Vietnam Wall is more than a memorial. It is a reminder to our nation of what we did wrong in welcoming our young men and women back after serving overseas. That lesson, I believe has been learned. However, there is so much further we need to grow. As our military returns from war, as a nation we need to make sure that they are comforted, healed, and given work that will allow them to have a solid future. And we need to make sure we are more aware of those veterans and families who have endured a great deal in the name of freedom. They are the silent minority and too many are finding it gut-wrenching hard to reintegrate back into their communities.

            After observing the thousands of individuals who visited the Traveling Vietnam Wall these last many days, I truly believe we, as a community/nation, have the will to accomplish this task of human restoration.

            What is hard, is taking the time during our very busy days to notice what needs to be done and then do it. Each small step we take moves all of us closer to a healthier and more humane nation.

            God does truly bless America when we take the time to meet the needs of others.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

            Every so often we get asked a question about why past war veterans like those from World War II seemed not to suffer as greatly from Post-Traumatic Stress. Our answer is that “they did” but as in all past wars very few knew what they were experiencing or how to talk about such a silent wound. Who would understand their despair? Who would judge them for being inferior, less courageous? How could they talk about what they were suffering when there were no words/names to this despondency?

            Once again, one of our friends sent us an article by Duane Jeffrey, an emeritus professor of biology at Brigham Young University. The article was titled, “Mental Malfunction in Mankind’s Wars. The author gave some staggering statistics about World War II veterans both American, British, and even German troops.  It made me wonder, not that these veterans were troubled by Post-traumatic Stress, but that they somehow were able to move forward each day not ever knowing or understanding what was happening to them.

            When we read about the various battles of any war, it is pretty obvious that the horror and devastation of what our young men and women went through was beyond mere words. Mr. Jeffrey’s writes, More than 1,393,000 U.S. military personnel were treated for psychiatric “breakdowns” in WWII. Forty percent of all medical discharges were for psychiatric reasons. That amounted to 504,000 troops formally discharged due to “psychiatric collapse.” The battle for Okinawa alone produced some 26,000 cases of psychiatric stress and care.

Teams of psychiatrists, social workers, and psychologists tried to screen men headed for combat, to identify which would reach a breaking point and which would not. This proved fruitless: It soon turned out that anyone, everyone, had a breaking point.”

            In addition, he went on to write, that during the battle of Guadalcanal more than 500 Marines were reduced to “sensitivity to sharp noises, periods of amnesia, tendency to get panicky, tense muscles, tremors, hands that shook. … Men were frequently close to tears or very short tempered.” 

            According to Dr. Jeffery’s research, a report in 1946 indicated that severe emotional trauma in infantry soldiers occurred “in the first 90 days of combat”. The article went on to state that “of those soldiers who survived 60 days of fighting on Normandy’s beaches and the hedgerows immediately inland from there, fully 98 percent… became psychiatric casualties”.

            After reading this article, it made me pause to once again wonder how much our current military can take when being deployed for so many tours. Since we have known about these statistics for decades, why are we asking so few to continually sacrifice so much? Surely as a nation we can and should do better.

            Over this Memorial Day weekend, be sure to not only thank every veteran you may know, but to pray for those and their families still serving.

           And lest we forget, remember those who made the supreme sacrifice and never returned home.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

Religion does not heal. People heal people. They do it through love, generosity and acceptance.  Look. Listen. Heal.  Oh so simple yet so difficult to achieve.

For four days we were with a group out of Canton, Ohio who were conducting a conference called the Warrior’s Journey Home. It started with the interesting collaboration of a church pastored by Dr. John Schlup and a Seneca wise woman, Shianne Eagleheart.  Through Shianne’s sharing, she taught several members of the congregation the spiritual and physical healing of the Healing Circle. My brother, John, has been a living example of the power of Native American spiritual customs and blessings in Hot Springs, South Dakota.

 The purpose of the Healing Circle is to give an individual a safe, nonjudgmental place to be – to listen – to learn and to share his/her trauma experience(s).  Sharing is not an expectation like in many traditional therapy groups.  It is merely an invitation if one is inclined to disclose his/her words. The sharing is only for those in the circle to hear. Stories must never be disclosed beyond the circle unless given permission by the person speaking.

So here is the really cool part of the sharing, there is a hand carved stick that looks like a walking stick.  However, this stick is truly special because the only person who can speak is the person holding the talking stick. There are no time limits a person has to hold the stick and no one can get up and take the stick from that person. When the speaker is through disclosing  his story he will place the stick back in its place or hand it to another person.

Oh, and another powerful trait of a Healing Circle is questions are never asked of the speaker.  Wow, unlike modern therapy, there is no interrogation, advice, or “extra” comments. One may be given a hug or a small a glass of water by a listening member, but that’s it.  By moving through the circle an environment of listening and caring is generated.  Perhaps this is why the Healing Circle is such a special experience for veterans.

To make the experience even more powerful a drum and drummers may be present.  Shianne’s partner, Bob honored the group with his handmade drum.  Healing Circles often begin with native songs and drumming.  The beat of the drum mirrors the rhythm of the heart. This mimics the ancient ceremonies meant to simulate a mother’s heartbeat when the warrior was in her womb. It calms the thoughts and anxieties of the attendees, and gives each person a way to begin and end the Circle experience. Like the mystical poet, Rumi, advises, the circle empowers many thoughts:

“What you seek is seeking you.” 

“Most people guard against going into the fire, and so end up in it.”

 One of my favorite old Chinese proverbs says it all,

“You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.” 

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

PREFACE

            For too many individuals, there may often be days when one feels he/she cannot continue to withstand the struggle and obstacles of the many agonies of the past. The feelings can be overwhelming and consume our minds and bodies with darkness. It is at this time when a favorite, inspirational quote or a poem of encouragement may help us get through a really bad day.  It is for this reason, I wrote the poem, Against All Odds. If we believe we can, hopefully, we can. And surely as there is day and night, sunshine and rain, joy and sadness, if we believe we can’t, then we won’t.

 

AGAINST ALL ODDS

Janet J. Seahorn

 

Against All Odds I will survive.

Courage and grit will be my guides.

Against All Odds the demons within

May sometimes grow but never win.

 

Against All Odds I will find joy

Hate and chaos I will avoid.

Against All Odds I’ll fight my fears

And not be afraid of cleansing tears.

 

Against All Odds I’ll endure my pain

Knowing that rainbows come after a rain.

Against All Odds I shall be kind

Even if anger sways my mind.

 

Against All Odds I’ll choose to believe

That peace and happiness I can receive.

For this I know without a doubt

Against All Odds I will win out.

 

You not only can, but will do what needs to be done to be healed, to be whole, to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit…Against All Odds.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

            As an English major I had to read endless novels, poetry, and short stories from a huge number of authors across all countries and eras. One that was always fascinating for me and others has been the story of the Odyssey by the Greek poet C. P. Cavafy.  Ithaka was the island home of Odysseus. Since this is the beginning of a New Year, thinking about your personal Odyssey may be quite interesting.  What journeys stand out in your life? During your journeys what challenges did you face and meet? And most important, it is not the outcome of the experience that is important but the lesson(s) you learned from them and how those lessons impacted your life, hopefully for the better.

            Like Odysseus, what are you searching for in your journey? Sometimes it is not what we seek out that enriches our life, but what unexpectedly appears during our travels.

Ithaka

C.P. Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon-don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon-you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean…

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