Apr
24
LIVING INSIDE OURSELVES
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Life, Peace, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Treating PTSD, Veterans | 2 Comments
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
We reside within our own wondrous environment, within ourselves, and wander about the internal hills and valleys everyday. If we are lucky and have lived a full life, the landscape of our inner country is filled with incredible diversity.
Mountains and valleys only have depth based on the extent of our experiences. The brilliant hues of colors cannot be painted on an empty canvas. Nope, such vividness is achieved through a great many life events: joy, grief, humility, arrogance, chaos, serenity… all mixed throughout the years.
Yet, through all our trials and triumphs, with a bit of luck, our inner artist refuses to put down the paintbrush. Each day offers elements to add to the internal country; an element that increases the vastness of the spirit. Within ourselves we wander with purpose and courage. Trauma takes a toll which only hope can overcome.
We become our best selves not because we lived a safe, comfortable life, but because we have fully lived. There is a huge difference between a life of ease and one of worth. The first took little effort; the latter required a deep sense of duty, sacrifice, relentless perseverance, and sometimes tears. All of these make a life of worth a special gift to the world. A gift that lives far beyond our short existence.
Which life have your lived so far. Which life are you living now? What would your canvas look like? Certainly, like any remarkable work of art, it would have its dark contrasts; yet, I hope it would also contain sweeps of light, touches of brilliant colors, and areas of tender hues which embrace a sense of peace and serenity.
Aug
5
PTSD + JOY = PEACE… May be
Filed Under Treating PTSD | Comments Off
Some of you may have read the title to this blog and thought, “Oh right. You must be kidding!” Actually, I’m pretty serious about the components of the title: PTSD + Joy = Peace… May be.
Putting these three words together – PTSD, Joy, and Peace – may be the only real solution to living life after trauma. It is what all of the therapists and therapies strive to achieve. Yet, I’m not sure that we think of them optimistically in the same sentence. However, the three are intricately linked by both the challenging and hallowed events of the trauma.
Despite the incredible agony and horror of the trauma, there is something that is definitely available to us if we quiet our minds and bodies enough to recognize some of the gifts the event may have brought us. Yep, I did say gifts. Gifts such as acknowledging the immense courage survival required. Gifts such as being deeply aware of the importance of each new day, each new experience, and life in its entirety. Gifts, that, in spite of the fear of recurring nightmares and panic attacks, you understand something about life and living that many do not.
You understand that it can be more fragile than you believed before the ordeal. You appreciate the fact that somehow, someway you survived. You recognize, after enduring profound sorrow, perhaps you made it through the fire because your mission on this earth was not done, and, you, in someway, were meant to carry on. It is not yours to question or know immediately what that mission is or may become. Only living each day fully can answer the question at the very end of our time.
So what does this have to do with Joy? In our society many think of joy and happiness as the same emotion. However, they are really quite different. Happiness may entail some outside, material component to subsist. Joy, on the other hand, can exist even during our darkest moments. This is possible because joy is connected to gratitude. Gratitude for what went before the trauma, what may come through it, and what can be after. You see, we now know what we know about the preciousness of life. We know the importance of the love of family and friends. The value of new life. The reminder of a rainbow after a storm.
As the joy/gratitude list grows, something amazing takes place in our hearts, minds, and bodies. We become peaceful. Maybe not all the time, or even, at first, much of the time, but some of the time. And that, my friend, is better than nothing. For if I can touch that peaceful place even once, I know it can be done. That gives me hope. Hope that I can touch it again, and again, and again.
Yes, PTSD + Joy = Peace… May be.
Jun
18
WARRIOR’S JOY
Filed Under Tears of Joy | 1 Comment
The computer screen is dark, waiting for its colorful icons to magically appear when the master switch is ignited. Once up, we look for the message, just like in the movie, “You’ve Got Mail.” Mail from family, friends, and unknown friends – business mail, personal messages, Facebook, funny facts, the list is endless. What we await are comments regarding our book, Tears of a Warrior, and our website blogs. And there they are; messages telling us precious stories, battle experiences, challenges of living with PTSD, and concerns from parents, spouses, and children who live with a combat sufferer. One comment caught my eye. It was not meant as a criticism as the writer wanted to be sure to clarify. His exact words, So as you start your sequel to Tears of a Warrior just maybe you should take a look at the tears of joy. Not at all meant critically but in a fashion of hope. So Buddy, this particular blog is in honor of your comment.
Tears of a Warrior addresses the challenges of living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, both as a sufferer and those who spend their lives supporting, observing, and being an intregal part of the journey. In any life there are tears. Tears of sorrow. Tears of regret. Tears of despair and hopelessness. And, just as significant, Tears of JOY. Below is a list of some of our Joyful Tears. As you read this blog, think about your life and smile, for like us, we are optimistic that you have experienced similar joyful events. Make your own list. Before you go to sleep and when you wake up each morning read over the list. You may find that in spite of the sadness, your life has also been blessed with many breathtaking, joyous moments.
Our Tears of Joy List:
- The birth of our sons
- Holding a tiny new life in your arms and smelling the sweetness of a true miracle
- The growing love of family and friends
- Watching a vibrant canvas of sky at sunrise and sunset
- Giggling over the crazy antics of a beloved pet
- Observing the changes of seasons, each with its spectacular scents and hues
- Celebrating holidays and birthdays with loved ones
- Eating your favorite ice cream on a hot summer day
- Knowing that we are constantly being watched over by someone/something greater than ourselves
- Watching a flag presentation and understanding the incredible pride of being an American.
This is our short list, as every day we are given so many special moments that humble and inspire us to be better, more grateful people. Yes Buddy, you are quite right, we must never fail to recognize and acknowledge all of our tears, especially our Tears of Joy. Perhaps, even those tears split in sorrow, carry their own reflection of Hope.