Nov

9

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE

Filed Under Family, Holidays, Peace, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Wisdom | Comments Off

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

helping-hand-2

 

            It is hard to believe that another holiday season is upon us, beginning with Thanksgiving and ending with the celebration of a New Year. With this period comes the challenge of facing the days with too much to do or too much idle time, too many people to be around or too much loneliness, and the memories of past holidays spent in combat or loss. For some, these are anniversaries of death and destruction. They may not bring joy and goodwill, but sadness and loss.

 

            So, I write today’s blog to remind myself and perhaps others confronted by the days ahead to not be afraid of the darkness. It is not about getting rid of the shadows but getting beyond them.  Stepping into sunlight, even a small glint is enough to dispel some of our gloom. As human beings we were not meant to stay in sadness but to shine, in spite of our troubles and hurts.  Hard to believe, but nonetheless true.

 

            The only way I can ever get beyond the shadows is to look up; to search for the pure, the just, and the beautiful. To focus on what can be if I keep moving forward. I do not have to center my thoughts only on what has been lost, but what is waiting to be gained if only I believe. Believe in the goodness of others; they abundantly surround us waiting to enter our life. Believe in a more loving world even when the media fill the airways with ugliness. Believe that as we search for the decent we find it in the softness of a breeze, the melody of a song, or the laughter of a child.

 

            A few months ago my sister gave me a CD by the Canadian Tenors.  On the album is a lovely song with a chorus all of us can use at sometime in our lives:

 

There will always be a shining star;

There will always be the rising of the sea;

There will always be an angel watching over me…

And angels voices say to us, these things will never die.

 

 

            Choose to believe the skies are filled with shining stars even if clouds conceal them.  The seas and oceans rise and fall with the changing tides. Most comforting of all is choosing to believe that there will always be angels watching over us… and these things will never die. So if you wander into that dark place, remind yourself of those angels, the thousands of shining stars, and perhaps you will be the tender hand reaching out to hold another being in need of your light.

Aug

11

STAYING OUT OF THE SAD SACK

Filed Under Combat PTSD, Family, Healing Waters, Peace, Pets, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off

 

by Janet J. Seahorn

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A few weeks ago we had the rare opportunity for my family to get together and spend some quality time floating, fishing, and just chilling out in Wyoming.

 

 

During one of our chats, my brother, a Vietnam Navy vet, started talking about how hard it is to stay out of the “Sad Sack”, especially when his PTSD starts rearing it’s nasty head.

 

 

Although it is not realistic to expect that any of us can totally avoid jumping into this particular “sack”, it is wise to try and do something more inspiring than hanging out in the land of gloom.

 

 

Go for a walk, listen to music, write, or take up pottery or painting… or fishing. Anything that can help take your mind off of the misery.

 

One Vietnam vet I recently heard from talked about some of the projects he has done and continues to do for the children in Vietnam.

 

 

So far he has built one kindergarden in honor of his best friend who was killed in combat forty years ago. He has another one in process, and has helped do the fund raising and building of a library to honor another high school classmate killed during the same conflict. By giving something positive back to the world, he declares, allows him to keep his ghosts in line. Gosh, organizing, fund raising, and constructing these amazing projects is a pretty impressive way to stay out of the Sad Sack.

 

I must admit that some of our sibling conversations made me go into the “Jovial, Laughing Sack” which seemed to annoy the others in the car just a much as if I were in the Sad Sack.

 

Seems like when only one person in the group finds a subject humorous, others give you that disgusting look that says “stuff” the mirth. Dang, now I couldn’t open my Sad Sack and couldn’t stay in my Laughing Sack, which, by the way, made me burst into even more hilarity

 

At any rate, the whole point of this message is that we live in and wear many sacks throughout our days. Some we consciously choose, a few tackle us when we least expect them, throwing our emotions into chaos. The challenge is to get out of the bad stuff as quickly as possible.

 

 

The lesson is to trust our faith and strength, realizing that just as the crappy stuff sometimes engulfs us, the wonderful, comical, and joyful is waiting for us to return to the good stuff. In a recent blog, Ancient Wisdom, we wrote about being strong.

 

So here it is, being strong will not prevent you from somersaulting into the Sad Sack, however, being strong will be the only thing that will get you out into something better.

 

You have the power and strength to reduce the size of your sacks, whichever ones you choose.  Good Luck.

Mar

9

Don’t Quit

Filed Under Life, Peace, PTSD, Trauma, War | Comments Off

5bcby Janet J. Seahorn

Some days life is a real challenge.  It tests us in many ways.  Ways to be smarter.  Ways to be braver.  Ways to be more thoughtful.  Ways to be kinder and more compassionate.  And some days, ways to just keep getting up every morning, breathing through each minute and making it through some dark and lonely nights.  Living with Post-Traumatic Stress compounds all of these “tests”.  At times it may even seem that the journey is too long or too brutal; that the suffering is unending and the battle unachievable.  It is during such times that we must remember we are not alone in our ordeals.  Reminding that someone, something (for me it is my faith) is walking beside us telling us quietly that we will be OK.  Urging us, “Don’t Quit”.  We do not know what tomorrow may bring.  But if we Don’t Quit, I do believe in the appearance of a brighter, happier day.  Believe you have what it takes to pass any test.  And whatever comes your way –Don’t Quit!

Don’t Quit

Anonymous

 
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit!

 

Jan

19

The Nightmare Revisited

Filed Under Life, Peace, Today's War, Trauma, War | Comments Off

sad-vietnamese

By Janet J. Seahorn

Last year at this time, Tony and I were in Vietnam and Cambodia.  It was a humbling, yet inspiring excursion.  As Tony stated many times, he did not go there to heal or recreate the war. He wanted to visit, only to see how things had changed, with hopes that the people and the country were mending. 

By all outward appearances hope seemed to be occurring. Yet, what keep coming back to me, were the faces of the old women.  We did not see the same number of older men, perhaps because many of this age were killed in the war.  The women’s faces were not happy.  Their features lined with rivers of anger.  It was the eyes that held the emotions, and for many, their emotions were tortuous and hate-filled.  What haunts me now are the faces I glimpse in the newspapers of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan; similar looks living in human bodies experiencing similar horrors of war.

As we continue to read of the escalation of suicides of returning military men and women, I wonder if such unforgettable faces are haunting them.  Faces of the enemy, faces of their comrades, faces of the children?  In the first few blogs of this New Year, I wrote of Peace.  Can it be attained in a person’s mind and heart after experiencing so much?  I very much want to believe such a peace is possible. For others, the hideous experiences continue to dig deeper ravines into the soul.  To heal, even a bit, these gorges must be filled in gradually. 

Perhaps not fully, but even building up the crevasses a little keeps one from falling into the yawning depths of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.  As long as one can look up and see the sky, hope is present.  It is when one’s existence is swallowed in darkness that even the tiniest light is diminished.  Finding ways to keep the sunlight accessible for our returning vets will be the work of everyone: the nation, its people, families, friends, communities, and most importantly, the veteran.

We have troops leaving daily for the war zone, and others returning. A 2008 Rand Corporation study revealed that 300,000 troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan had Post-Traumatic Stress, while 320,000 reported probable traumatic brain injuries. Both conditions greatly increase the likelihood of attempted suicide. “According to a Congressional Quarterly compilation in late November 2009, 334 active-duty military service men and women have taken their own lives in 2009″ (Edward Pages, 2009: The Year of Soldier’s Suicide), and this does not include those military individuals who have been discharged.

Let us all be sure to look into these eyes of freedom and not dismiss the signs of their sacrifice.  Peace and healing is everyone’s work; everyone’s answerability.  As a nation, it must be our core mission to mend and heal all those that fought in lands where few of us ever think to venture. 

I doubt if many of our returning military personnel have rational thoughts of wanting to return to the combat zone. It took almost forty years for us to do so. 

One of our favorite veterans, Michael MacDonald, wrote us the other day relating his response to those who frequently ask him if he ever wants to return to Vietnam for a visit.  His reply, “Why, I was just there last night.” 

And, for many, this statement is all too true.  It is those nights without returning that we pray for in our sleep and dreams.  It is those nights without revisiting the nightmares that keep us healing.

Jan

6

2010 New Year’s Wishes

Filed Under American Patriotism, New Year, Peace, War | Comments Off

military-new-year

by Janet J. Seahorn 

It’s already time for a brand New Year

Filled with new hope, dreams and some cheer.

For many their prospects are filled with great joy

While others the forecast may seem a bit grim.

Perhaps we can change the Year 20 and 10

And make it a season for our world to mend.

 

A year of forgiving,

A year of great love,

One of abundance sent from above.

A year without conflict,

A year where wars end,

 A time where the goodness of angels commend.

 

A year of good fortune,

A year without hate,

When lies and untruths and battles abate.

A year where one’s word

Can be totally trusted,

Where nothing is left but goodwill and justice.

 

A year without fear,

A year where we’ve learned

Those rainbows are just around the next turn.

A year where we find

That we are not lost,

That life must be lived no matter the cost.

 

A year that we take

One step at a time

Trusting to see and feel the sublime.

A very deep breath

And we’re on our way

To making each moment a true New Year’s Day.

 

 

May your coming year be filled with love,

safe-keeping and prosperity.

 

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