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by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

Amazing story!

This was sent to us recently from one of our readers, Larry Mathena. We had just seen Steven Spielberg’s movie, War Horse, which chronicled (even fictionally), the high cost of war on horses during WWI.

Like people, our four-legged comrades share similar emotions of friendship, love, pain, and grief.

Reckless, however is a true story of a courageous animal that fought in the Korean War.

Read on and view the video. I am sure it will touch many of your hearts like it did ours.

A special thanks to Larry for sharing this heroic story.

Reckless was a pack horse during the Korean war, and she carried recoilless rifles, ammunition and supplies to Marines. Nothing too unusual about that, lots of animals got pressed into doing pack chores in many wars. But this horse did something more. During the battle for a location called Outpost Vegas, this mare made 51 trips up and down the hill, on the way up she carried ammunition, and on the way down she carried wounded soldiers.What was so amazing? Well, she made every one of those trips without anyone leading her. One can imagine a horse carrying a wounded soldier, being smacked on the rump at the top of the hill, and heading back to the “safety” of the rear. But to imagine the same horse, loaded with ammunition, and trudging back to the battle where artillery is going off, without anyone leading her, is unbelievable. To know that she would make 50 of those trips is unheard of. How many horses would even make it back to the barn once, let alone return to the soldiers in the field even a single time? Here is a clip of her story and photos to prove where she was and what she did.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIo3ZfA9da0  Reckless was retired at the Marine Corps Base in Camp Pendleton where a General issued the following order: “She was never to carry any more weight on her back except her own blankets.” She died in 1968 at the age of 20.  P.S. How bad was the battle for Outpost Vegas? Artillery rounds fell at the rate of 500 per hour, and only two men made it out alive without wounds. Just two. And also a horse and she was wounded twice.

 

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

            This is the title of a book sent to us by Marie Leduc, the wife of a Vietnam Veteran who co-wrote it with retired naval aviator, Art Schmitt, Ph.D.  Later Art got his degree in psychology. The Man I Didn’t Know: The Stories of Wives and Families of Vietnam Veterans who suffer from “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”, is a collection of stories and poems written from the perspective of those most directly impacted by combat.

The articles are heartrending and the poetry will literally place you in the hearts and souls of the writers. While reading through the many tales I found several statements pretty sobering and thought provoking. Some statements gave me an unusual viewpoint of war, especially the last few wars we have fought and left without a clear victory. I have included several small snippets of some of these in this blog.

 

• “The United States did not lose the war in Vietnam, the South Vietnamese did. The last American troops left Vietnam on March 29, 1973, (however, the last flight out wasn’t until 1975). We did not lose the war… we stopped fighting” (p. 16). Recently, December 15, 2011 we raised the last American flag as we leftIraq.  I wondered if years down the road we will describe this last conflict in a similar manner.

 

• “There are two kinds of PTSD… acute, which is treatable, and Chronic, which is manageable”.  More Vietnam veterans, per capita, suffer from chronic PTSD than from any other war. The reasons for this is unknown, but it may be that it was an unpopular war and the veterans were not welcomed home” (p. 16).

 

• In another article, To Answer Your Question, by Ed Ruminski, the veteran is trying to explain to his son what combat was like, how time stopped and actions were both quick and in slow motion. How he had to be “constantly watching, listening to my senses”.  In the end he merely states, “They call it war, and to answer your question son, yes, I have killed somebody. What I was unaware of was how by that process I just described, I was also killing myself” (p.19). Sadly, many of our Iraq and Afghanistan troops are returning with parallel sentiments.These are just a few statements from the book. The various writings describe the wounds of the minds, how scary it can be for a family to negotiate the many behaviors and emotional ups and downs of their beloved warrior, how a mother must learn to cope with the death of her son while visiting the Vietnam Wall to stay connected, and how PTSD affects children when their under developed minds and bodies leave them vulnerable to actions which they may never fully understand. In the end, this last quote by Jacqueline McVicar      (p. 85) really says it all.

“His fight was in Vietnam,

Ours is the Vietnam in him.”

Ordering information:  ISBN: 1-4196-2452-0  www.booksurge.com  1-866-308-6235

 Veteran’s Day Week, the History Channel will present a special episode of the Vietnam War.

Mark your calendar to view this special presentation.

by Deborah A Maffucci

 This blog was sent via an e-mail letter last week.  Deborah has kindly allowed us to share her comments with our readers. 

Growing up, my knowledge of my dad’s war experience went no further than, “My dad was in   WW II and I think he was stationed in England.” 

      On advice from my therapist, I decided to go to the attic and find my dad’s discharge papers.  Oh my!!!  After hours of online research (which is amazingly complete) for the first time I realized that my dad was right in the “thick of WWII”

     He was 22 years old in 1942 when he joined the USAAF to fight in the European Theatre in WW II.  He received four medals and a Presidential Unit Citation.  He was at Normandy, the Battle of the Bulge and Rhineland.  He was a Technical Sgt. in the 8th Air Force Fighter Command, 66th Fighter Wing, 339th Fighter Group, 504th Fighting Squadron.  Oh my stars !!!   He was a soldier.  

      I needed to read about what it is really like to be a soldier.  I found your book, “Tears of a Warrior” at my local library and read it almost in one sitting.  I couldn’t put it down.   A whole world of understanding and compassion for my dad has been felt in my heart.  A sense of awakening and belief that I will feel much more true joy and happiness and conquer my life long feelings of anxiety, fear and depression.  

      I realize now that I am trying to heal from the secondary PTSD that comes from living with a combat warrior and not knowing it. There was no time for my dad to heal because he died in 1969 from cancer.  I realize my dad’s war experiences must have been the true source of our family struggle.  It wasn’t because my dad didn’t love us, or because he would rather spend all his time at the firehouse, the VFW or the Elks Club, he was a warrior.  I understand why he loved being a fireman, he was draw to the danger, why he abused alcohol, to block out his war memories, why he yelled so much, he was a sergeant.  All my childhood memories make sense now. Your book has put my life story in prospective.  Thank you for that long awaited insight. !!!  

      My dad was a combat warrior and I never knew it.  I just want to give him the biggest hug right now and tell him how proud I am of him.  From 1945 until Dec 7th 1969 when he died, he was fighting WWII in his mind and body.   

     You have truly helped me to understand what happened to my dad in the war and what he must have struggled with after the war. I hold him in a new and special place in my heart.

    God bless you, 

    Debbie Maffucci

 P.S.   I borrowed your book from the Jesup Library in Bar Harbor, Maine. I believe it was only hours after you so graciously donated a copy to our town. I have recommended it to my counselor to use in her therapy work.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

          Here is a question to think about…how many of you would take your entire retirement in one lump sum and then put it into a facility that would serve as a place of support, safety, and relaxation for our country’s vets? 

 

            This special place would require quite a bit of work. You would need to paint the walls, put in new furniture that would be comfortable and calming, and develop programs that would facilitate a wounded warrior’s emotional and physical well-being.

 

            Such a facility would need quiet places where an individual could find the best environment to heal.  For instance, one room would serve as a large conference room for presentations and discussions. Another would be a smaller area with a number of large reclining couches as well as chair recliners. My favorite happens to be a room with three oversized, state of the art massage recliners.

 

            Each of the two “relaxation” rooms is equipped with head phones to listen to select music of choice under dim lighting. Small water fountains provide a sense of a quiet, flowing river. A large screen TV scrolls messages of hope and inspiration. Every detail was thoughtfully conceived to provide a special place of peace.

 

            And here is the amazing thing, the person who has formed this sanctuary does not charge one cent for a veteran or family member. The Warrior Relaxation Response Center is located on the south side of Colorado Springs, CO, close to Fort Carson military base. It has been open barely a year. To continue to provide these services, the owner, Antoine Johnson, is desperately trying to obtain grants from various organizations as well as the army’s military base.

 

            With a challenging economy, this will be no easy task. As Antoine tells it, “It is a true leap of faith”. He explains that he simply loves the military men and women who served our country. He and his wife spent many years in the army, fought in Desert Storm, and then became teachers. Working with traumatized children became his specialty. Many of the children came from military families torn apart by combat deployments, with parents returning with TBI and PTSD. Antoine saw a calling to help those returning from war to achieve a more stable and balanced life.

 

            Last Thursday we were invited to visit the center and speak to some of the veterans and their families. Young and old were present, each with a story of trauma The flashbacks, the lack of understanding from family and friends who have not had to endure war, the numbing of the senses just to get through the day, and the sometimes overwhelming anxiety of not knowing when the next emotional attack will occur.

 

            Throughout our country there will be an even greater need for more centers like the Warrior Relaxation Response Center A place where an individual can visit to simply be alone and find some solace. A place where he/she will not be judged, asked questions, or encouraged to just get on with living. Sometimes, as Antoine understands, a warrior simply needs a quiet space. Healing takes time, often a lifetime.

 

            For those who want to contribute to support this mission or learn more about the facility please contact Antoine Johnson:           http://www.warriorrrc.com

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

            There are few things in life that can take your mind off trouble more than a special day on a beautiful river. Last week the Platte Valley Trout Unlimited Chapter located in Saratoga, Wyoming had the opportunity to take a group of wounded veterans from the Cheyenne VA Medical Center on just such a trip. The excursion began with an amazing barbecue put on by members of the chapter and local volunteers. It seemed like almost everyone in the community wanted to contribute something from ice cream to napkins. Children from 4-H served food, helped clean up, and simply added their youthful energy to the evening.

            The next morning began early with breakfast which proved there is nothing wrong with a warrior’s appetite. Then off to the river, which is a logistical bussle of shuttling boats, equipment and people to one of the river’s launch site. Vice-President and project coordinator of the Trout Unlimited Chapter, Steve Hays, was a bundle of nerves as he wanted to make sure every detail of this event went perfectly. Again, all the shuttle drivers, helpers, boats, and guides donated their time and efforts to making the fishing trip an amazing experience.

            The guardian angels of fishing trips could not have arranged a more beautiful day for a float. The water was dazzling with light, birds seemed to have arranged their chorus of unique songs for entertainment, and even the fish were cooperative. Private angling lessons were given throughout the day which proved to be quite successful for most of the veterans. Two warriors demonstrated their angling abilities by catching ten or more fish. Since the North Platte River has been running at flood stage since mid-May, having the water and its inhabitants somewhat normal was a real gift.

            Yet, the most significant result of the float trip was its therapeutic benefits to the wounded warriors. Most of the group had not known each other before the overnight trip. What they found from these precious, short twenty-four hours is recorded in their comments below:

• I can’t believe people care that much about us.
• I had no idea other veterans continue to struggle with PTSD; I thought I was just weak.
• I really needed this… it’s been a long time since I felt I could relax and feel safe.
• The whole experience has been a true blessing.
• This is what makes healing happen.
• That was one of the best days of my life.

              Formal therapy can and is very helpful to many military individuals healing from the trauma of combat. But it is only one ingredient of the recipe. Being with others who have suffered similar wounds, knowing that others care and appreciate their sacrifices and experiencing the beauty and serenity of nature offers one a sense of peace, safety, and the faith that perhaps some divine presence may truly be keeping watch over them.

 

           

 

 

 

 

 

 Yep, Fishing Therapy… the new, ground-breaking, effective line of defense against the scars of war.

 

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

There is a saying in the bible stating, “Forgive and ye shall be forgiven”. Yet, here’s the dicey part for many of us, some times it is harder to forgive ourselves for things we have and have not done (some of which are more perception than truth) than it is to forgive others.

 

Military men and women who serve in intense combat zones must learn to identify and face up to their experiences from their emotional position if they are to begin to heal. Putting “these feelings into words or some other symbolic expression”, as Bessel van der Kolk asserts, helps complete the story in a restorative manner. Everyone has things they have done that they wish could be forgotten. The problem occurs when we can’t just forget, or the personal blame continues to grow. The burden gets heavier unless some of the weight is released.  We cannot be set free until we understand that we’re not fully responsible for much of the trauma that took place in our lives.

 

As humans, many of us tend to take too much ownership for circumstances that are far beyond our full control. We simply do the best we can, and sometimes that “best” does not feel good enough. Forgiving ourselves is an important step in the healing process. Without personal forgiveness, we hold too much anger, sadness, and anguish in our minds and bodies. It is little wonder we become emotional and physically drained.

 

Realistically, I do not condone the open spilling of our feelings. Sometimes when I have been overly urged to do so, I left the exchange even more vulnerable and irritated. And I definitely did not want to be in the presence of that person anytime soon. It is only when we can begin to share with someone who is open to listening and able to keep our words in confidentiality can we feel safe enough to share our story. Trust is crucial. Patience is necessary. Hope for living a better life is essential.

 

Daniel Siegel writes about the importance of “feeling felt” when sharing emotions. We cannot “feel felt” if, when sharing our stories, we are constantly being interrupted, interrogated for more details, or given advice on how we should or should not have acted or felt. Such disruptions only validate our instincts to suffer in silence. Unfortunately, unspoken suffering only compounds the problem and adds to the burden.

 

The challenge is finding the right person (or people) at the right time to begin your dialogue. For many of us it may or may not be a close family member or friend. Sometimes talking to a reliable “stranger” can bring clarity to our experience.

 

Begin to explore who may be your safe sounding board. In doing so, the weight of your story may begin to diminish. You may just realize that carrying this burden is no longer helpful or necessary. Free yourself of the guilt. Free yourself of the pain. Free yourself of a past that can now be accepted, learned from, and honored.

 

You deserve no less as you live towards that healing place in your mind, heart, and body.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

            It was Father’s Day and I got to thinking about all of the vets who are fathers and all of the special moments we shared as a family, as well as the times when things weren’t all that peaceful. In our book, Tears of a Warrior, we wrote that the good things far out numbered the bad. Yet, those difficult periods left lasting wounds; wounds that still remind us of the challenges of living with Post Traumatic Stress. Healing the wounds within us and the wounds inflicted on our loved ones can be a life long endeavor – a journey that poses some questions in order to mend the injuries.

 

            First, identify who has been wounded and who do you need to help heal, besides yourself? Which relationships have been most broken by past and/or present actions? These can be spouses, children, siblings, parents, friends, and even co-workers. Identifying your “wounded group” will require a great deal of personal self-reflection and honesty. Not something most of us humans do well. Root-canals are easier to endure than admitting we have verbally harmed someone we care about due our unhealthy behavior.

 

            What exactly needs healing? Things like trust wounds, word wounds, responsibility wounds. What actions impaired the ability of others to trust us? What did we do that makes us question if we can trust ourselves? When have we used words to inflict hurt? Interesting things – words; they can leave wounds that are longer lasting and harder to forget or forgive than many bodily injuries. Unlike physical bruises which can be seen on the outside of our bodies, words bruise the heart in ways that can neither be seen nor easily healed.

 

            If you have been able to get this far, the difficult question of How can I mend these wounds? emerges. It isn’t important to do something huge; start with something simple which may not be all that easy. A phone call, a letter – personally I like Hallmark cards or even the new internet e-cards can be the beginning of saying I’m sorry, or Forgive Me. PTSD has been a bit like the words Jesus used on the cross, “forgive them for they know not what they do”. Because we did not know better, it was hard to do better. Most of us had no idea what PTSD was or how living through war left the veteran with residue that impacted his/her actions for years to come. Now we can get better by knowing more about the demons of combat.

 

            Healing others helps us heal ourselves. It is a way of living forward with hope and personal forgiveness. It may be the only way we can diminish some of the demons allowing us to lead a more productive and peaceful life. Don’t wait another day to give yourself this belated Father’s Day gift. Some who have been wounded by our actions may not be ready or able to give forgiveness. This will be their journey. You can’t force forgiveness, nor can you take responsibility for it once you have assumed ownership of your own past actions. Take a deep breath, make that first step and conquer your fears and procrastinations.

 
          “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try” (William Shakespeare).

 by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

This is just one story of one veteran who served in World War II. We received it in a letter from a man who is approaching “89 years young”, as he proudly put it. His name is John and he wrote he has “good genes” and is of Irish and French Basque decent. What was so endearing about this letter is that it was type written, well some of it. Halfway through the letter his typewriter tape went out and he had to continue his story handwritten. The picture of this “young” man sitting at his old typewriter skillfully creating his message is really quite precious.

            John’s story is much like countless military veterans. Part of his tale is chronicled in a book by James D. Hornfishcher, Neptune‘s Inferno – the U.S. Navy at Guadalcanal. This particular battle claimed the life of the first two WWII Navy Admirals killed during combat. Because his ship was in enemy territory being stalked by submarines, the rescue ship had to “put him in a metal basket, slung over the side on a long line to a destroyer”. From there he was transported to Fiji for several months of hospitalization. Eventually, John arrived back to the states where he spent over a year in rehab. But this was not the end of his healing journey. After leaving the hospital he was sent to another place in Yosemite National Park which served as a holding location for vets waiting for their discharge papers. Since there was no PTSD ward at the time, John explained, that he was “placed into a long, one room barracks building which was called the All-Messed-Up Ward”.

            When John was injured, he was paralyzed on the entire right side of his body. He could not hear well nor speak much, which he humorously stated “much to the pleasure of the other patients… who wants to hear a US Marine Sergeant yak-yak”.  His leg was severely injured along with loss of part of his skull. Due to his head injury he suffered many years with epileptic seizures. John admits he has struggled with PTSD (as has his brother who also served in the Marine Corp). Yet, throughout his letter there was a theme of humor, courage, and resilience. This combination of personal moral fiber aided him in living a full life.

            One of the last things John wrote, I’m doing quite well, reminded me of the remarkable valor and stamina the vast majority of veterans possess. John wrote to thank us for our book, Tears of a Warrior. He said it helped explain some of what he went through during and after the war. In the end it is we who are honored to hear from someone who has endured so much, given so much in service to his country, and still continues to live with enthusiasm and pride. 

           Tony and I are deeply humbled to hear from individuals like John. It made those long years and challenges of writing our book worth the time and effort.  And we continue to hope and believe that for everyone who has been wounded in any way during service to our country that If we send them, then we must mend them – no matter how long it takes or how much it costs.

          John’s life is a testimonial to all of our military heroes.

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